gocirclegogo | (no subject)

He kept that part of himself pretty hidden from me, so when I saw it for the first time it came as a surprise. So just tell me , what kind dangerous way is he fulfilling those needs?

If I say it as a repeat of Dollars, I assume that makes sense. As I said that night, ah, hee, no I implied it, wasn't that what I did?

[Cough, right, serious.]

Either way, Mikado is part of that group now and doing quite well advancing himself. That is the problem. Naturally some are displeased and others find his quiet but serious devotion admirable. His intention is to create his own group and thus gain enough power to protect what he values.

[Frowning now.] ...The detachment means he doesn't realise how far he's going. He had me punish several people recently and before you get too excited, they had hurt him. The retribution was...unequal but they're recovering fine.

[his fists clench at his side as he looks down, before looking back up at Erika, smiling]

So it's like that, huh? What kind of [in English] 'retribution' was it that was so unequal?

Me. [Erika realises that probably isn't descriptive enough but it's the first answer that comes out.] The command was 'hurt,' which was easy to accomplish with a few gouges from my scythe. Mikado only hurt one person of his own accord but I assume one is still one too many.

[Absent-mindedly.]

His magic took an odd form... But he also made sure to send for a healer afterwards.

What kind of form did it take?

Pens. It was very distinctive. It was interesting too since the rest of his magic has a digital touch, email and cell phones and so on for the form. So it was a strange form for a weapon. Does writing have any meaning to him? Magic is very personal.

[Kida shook his head] I don't know. [a long pause, he feels like he's going to be sick, and he can't keep still. He looks down and around himself nervously, before finally focusing on Erika] What does any of that even matter? You were supposed to be looking after him. You promised. If he's doing things like that while you're around, what good are you anyway? [he smiles, but it's cruel and pained] You're useless. And I'm even more useless because I walked away and asked you to look after him. You're terrible, and I'm the worst.

[A little surprised at the reaction but otherwise not really bothered.] I am a really bad friend. Even when I am trying. [Shrugging, her lifts her hands to the sides.] Some of it is definitely my fault. I know that. I encourage too much. That's why I enlisted Willard's help.

[Walking forwards, Erika tilts her head back to look at the sky.] But whenever you see him, he's normal. That is your benefit to his mental health. When we see him, his logical processes would likely shut us out in a second if we become less useful. He believes what he wants is right and he believes it completely.

To say it simply, I pose this question to you. If Mikado felt you were going overboard but you truly believed in your heart that what you were doing would save him and anyone else you care about, would you really listen to him?

[frowning, he looks up at the sky with her] I don't know. I'd like to think I could see reason, but I don't know. Is this the kind of puzzle a great detective might know how to solve?

[With a little laugh.] If I understood how a person's heart works, I wouldn't be dead. That said, don't we all like to think we would know better? That is human. We view the situations others are in and say what we would do better and comfort ourselves knowing we wouldn't make the same mistake.

[Glancing at him.]

He praised me for answering his summon. I would like to say I would take care in the future but I know the truth is I want to earn that smile over and over. I am a terrible person. You want him safe but you're afraid of being shut out, too. We have that in common.

[he's all ready decided, but he's just saying it out loud now] I'll go talk to him, I'll try to reason with him, even if he won't listen right away. I stayed away too much, because I thought I had to get myself out before I could get him out. I got too comfortable, even if it did hurt being away from him like that.

[to Erika] You know this person he's become better than I do. What approach would you take if you were me?

[She has to think about it for a moment, hands folding behind her back and head bowing. At least it seems like she's taking this seriously - and she is. Wrong moves will have a ripple effect.]

...First, I will note this event wasn't a quiet one. Those around the church know Mikado's name as he wants it to be known and that event caused both a little hero worship and new grudges. [Not asking him to lie for her but she figures he's smart enough to know that her reporting on everyone to everyone else would quickly cut off information.]

If I had your advantage, I would touch on his emotions. I would point out that I understand why he needs to gain control and power to protect his friends but to be very careful in how he does. Mikado...wouldn't want to become that sort of person who hurts others. He's an idealist. Those are dangerous when they can justify their actions. Trapping him in his emotions would mean he can't.

[Lifting her head, she doesn't seem satisfied with her own answer.]

When you're apart, he might forget. So try to be logical as well. What good is the ability to protect others is the cost to gain it is too high? That all said...there is a very unpredictable element. Mikado doesn't like being normal. He does and doesn't. But it's easier to get addicted to new things than to remember the comfort of the old ones.

[Kida nods]

Thanks, Erika-chan. I'll keep that all in mind. I shouldn't have given him as much space as I did. That was my mistake, but I'll work to fix it now.

Be careful with your words and emotions. Keep a tighter leash on him. Visiting him will help as well to remind him of the person he is inside. It is true that I'm encouraging some of the wrong things. But I am trying as well. Unfortunately, I'm only human and not a very good one.

You might not be a very good person, but you're the best person to help me out with this, no matter what I said earlier. 'Thank you,' Erika-chan. Please keep him from crossing a line he can't uncross.

If I'm the best, that really is troubling. [She smiles anyway.] The day he insisted on rescuing you, I made sure to be the only one with blood on my hands. I will at least continue to do that. You can't tell with all the other stains.

If he's allowing you to do that kind of thing for him, it's on his hands, too. I might want to protect him from some things, but if he's allowing things like that, he needs to know it's wrong.

I'm certain he does know it's wrong. But emotions can be valuable with morality. His really are weaker without you around. He is still certainly that ridiculous, kind, easily flustered boy but the quiet, logical side is stronger. Though, you can't always be together. This is a riddle you will need to solve to keep him 'Mikado' all the time.

Have you figured out the answer to that riddle yet?

[She shakes her head.] Most solutions are impractical. You can't always be with someone. If it really is only being together physically, then even I can't think of a viable solution. But there are probably angles I can't think of that you might know.

I'm clueless as far as this goes. Maybe something good might come of Mikado hanging out with those people, if he can figure out a way to make this not so weird all the time.

Baseless optimism is dangerous. The premise breaks down quickly when you realise he isn't working very hard to stay 'normal.'

[laughs and pets her head] On the bright side, we'll probably never have to worry about baseless optimism from you.

[he can't stop worrying about Mikado though] I'm definitely going to see him and talk to him.

[Pettings are nice. She relaxes a little from it, blinking slowly.]

I am only interested in the truth. ...I hope he listens to you.

Me too. If not, maybe you could use your womanly charms on him and seduce him into being smart and safe.