Introduction to International Law

[theworst]

[Britta had put a shirt on at least, as she knelt in bed beside Jeff, and she drummed his shoulder in a friendly way]

Wow. The verdict is in and I won't be a-quitting that any time soon. Judgment Winger for the win.

[she nodded knowingly and gave him a thumbs up]

Oh hey, speaking of verdicts and judgments, wouldn't it be fun to practice your lawyerly ways? We can practice right now. You can be the defense and I'll be the offense - plaintiff - you know, the lawyer person you're fighting.

Comments

[theworst]

[about an hour later Jeff gets a text]

I saw that guy you went up against before he went into the courtroom today. I now totally get why they insist on the wigs.

[bedheaded]

[Who is interrupting his rewatching of The Cosby Show--oh. Reluctantly, he pauses and looks at her message.]

[And he might have cracked a bit of a smile.]

His personality matches.

[theworst]

Having a comb over like that would suck the soul and personality out of anyone. If you ever get like that, I'll shave your head for you. Consider it a mercy kill.

[bedheaded]

[And now a frown. Seriously, Britta? No. You are the worst.]

Want to watch the Cosby Show? Only episode I've got.

[theworst]

[a few minutes later there is a knock on Jeff's door, and a Britta in pajamas stands on the other side]

[bedheaded]

[Jeff isn't dressed, but it's boxers, not striped underwear, and let's be honest: how often is Jeff wearing a shirt anyway? So he unlocks the door and lets her in.] It's the episode where Cliff is just trying to read the paper but can't find anywhere in the house. [He has the blackberry in one hand, and he tugs her over to the side of the bed with the other. Why this can only be watched on the floor at the side of the bed, we don't know. Ask Jeff. But he does have pillows there, and an even more depleted bottle of scotch. Which Britta is permitted to drink from.]

[For the record, he feels better now because Britta's efforts to cheer him up were so pathetic that he felt less pathetic.]

[theworst]

[she sits down next to him, leaning close so she can see the phone's screen] Isn't that every episode? [she passes on the scotch for now, focusing on the show itself]

[bedheaded]

Not being raised on The Cosby Show, I'm not entirely sure. I will, however, eventually have every frame of this episode burned into my skull. Now if it was Cop Rock, I could tell you.

[theworst]

[she shakes Jeff's shoulder and points to the screen.] Ooh, oh, he's the one Shirley has the crush on. [she squints leaning closer to the screen to see] Is it just me, or does he look a lot like Andre?

[a long pause, and she gives him a skeptical look] Cop Rock? Seriously?

[bedheaded]

Yeah, I've been wondering about that ever since I downloaded this for her. That is pretty much how I'd have guessed Andre looked when he was younger.

[And he kinda looks back at her.] It had a great name.

[theworst]

More power to her, I say. I mean, if I could find a guy who looked like Thom Yorke, I'd be all over that, too.

So did Good Will Hunting and we saw how that one turned out.

[bedheaded]

Yeah, okay. [He does not find Thom Yorke very hot.] And let's not bring Good Will Hunting into this, though it doesn't have a great name.

[theworst]

Fair enough. Good Will Hunting shelved. And okay, maybe Ed O'Brien instead, but with Thom Yorke's - [she hesitates, and almost says issues or angst, but catches herself] - talents.

[bedheaded]

[He looks sideways at her. And then he lets it pass.] Nicole Kidman. Christina Hendricks.

Molly Ringwald. [Definitely Molly Ringwald.]

[theworst]

Oh, oh! Or the dude from Sixteen Candles. You know, the one she had the crush on, who she got to sit on the table with her and share her cake at the end.

[bedheaded]

Michael Schoeffling. [And for someone ragging on Sixteen Candles earlier, Jeff sounds very disdainful about Britta not remembering the actor's name.]

[theworst]

Wowsers, you remembered that name fast.

Hey, so what's up with you and redheads anyway? For someone who likes them so much, I barely ever see you dating one.

[bedheaded]

Yeah? And how many people have you seen me date?

[theworst]

Maybe dating is the wrong word. I'll rephrase. I haven't seen you scamming any redheads into checking out the heated seats in your Lexus.

[bedheaded]

That's because pretty much the only redhead at Greendale is that guy on the football team. I think I still have a couple of my last redheads in my contacts. [He looks through the list. There are two.] I remember that one, and... [He grins.] I don't remember anything about that one except the Glenlivet on the rocks that made it happen.

[theworst]

That last one is really something to be proud of there. For her sake I hope that's all she remembers, too.

[bedheaded]

And I thought the judgement was Winger for the win. [admit it you like it]

[theworst]

You wish!

Here, let me see that. [she tries to grab his phone from him now so she can look through his dubiously named contact list again]

[bedheaded]

[Amused, Jeff lets her have it.] Looking for yourself again? Sorry, you got dropped out of the 'hot blonde' category a while back.

[theworst]

Whatever. I'm hotter than any blonde in this thing. Or redhead, or bru -

[a smug smile, as she turns his phone around to face him, showing the 'Mommy' entry]

Okay, if you want to deny your whole edible complex thing, you should really think twice about naming one of your conquests 'Mommy.' Just saying.