Introduction to International Law

[theworst]

[Britta had put a shirt on at least, as she knelt in bed beside Jeff, and she drummed his shoulder in a friendly way]

Wow. The verdict is in and I won't be a-quitting that any time soon. Judgment Winger for the win.

[she nodded knowingly and gave him a thumbs up]

Oh hey, speaking of verdicts and judgments, wouldn't it be fun to practice your lawyerly ways? We can practice right now. You can be the defense and I'll be the offense - plaintiff - you know, the lawyer person you're fighting.

Comments

[theworst]

Maybe dating is the wrong word. I'll rephrase. I haven't seen you scamming any redheads into checking out the heated seats in your Lexus.

[bedheaded]

That's because pretty much the only redhead at Greendale is that guy on the football team. I think I still have a couple of my last redheads in my contacts. [He looks through the list. There are two.] I remember that one, and... [He grins.] I don't remember anything about that one except the Glenlivet on the rocks that made it happen.

[theworst]

That last one is really something to be proud of there. For her sake I hope that's all she remembers, too.

[bedheaded]

And I thought the judgement was Winger for the win. [admit it you like it]

[theworst]

You wish!

Here, let me see that. [she tries to grab his phone from him now so she can look through his dubiously named contact list again]

[bedheaded]

[Amused, Jeff lets her have it.] Looking for yourself again? Sorry, you got dropped out of the 'hot blonde' category a while back.

[theworst]

Whatever. I'm hotter than any blonde in this thing. Or redhead, or bru -

[a smug smile, as she turns his phone around to face him, showing the 'Mommy' entry]

Okay, if you want to deny your whole edible complex thing, you should really think twice about naming one of your conquests 'Mommy.' Just saying.

[bedheaded]

Hey, did you hear about that argument Jung had? He said that girls wanted to kill their moms to sleep with their dads, but Freud said girls also wanted to kill their dads to sleep with their moms. So which one is it? You peg me as the bang-your-dad type--you do hate other women--but I've misjudged before.

[theworst]

What? No! As a practicing psych major I call bullshit. You're just making things up now. [she thinks] And anyway, I'm not the one using 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' to talk about people I've slept with.

[bedheaded]

So you claim. But why this fixation on my sexual habits? Could it be that you're trying to project your desires onto other people? It's a common affliction of social deviants. You're just looking for other people like you to make you feel better about the thoughts you can't acknowledge, and it's your inability to face up to the problem that stops you from ever saying the complex's name right. On top of that, you aren't a practicing anything. You're a student who hasn't even completed a year of study.

Your Honour, I declare this witness impeached on grounds of bias and incompetence.

[theworst]

Okay, first of all you are not qualified to psychoanalyze me. B, you wish I was a deviant anything. And third, deflectavoiding won't work on me, Jason Lee. Overturned and case dismissed.

[bedheaded]

I'm defence. If you dismiss the case, that means I win.

[theworst]

[she slumps and makes a face] Shootsies. [she turns on him] Well, it's not my fault I don't know how the stupid legal system works. Maybe if you took a second to teach me. [smug grin] Unless you're scared I'll kick your ass?

[bedheaded]

Anyone could pick up that much after an episode of Law & Order. If you don't know that much, well. [He smiles at her.] I'd call you untutorable.

[theworst]

[she is making an effort not to give him the satisfaction of seeing her smile at that joke] Well, maybe I've never seen an episode of Law & Order. [she is also making an effort to hide any shame associated with this admission]

[bedheaded]

You've never--you've never seen an episode of Law & Order? Ever? What world were you living in?

[theworst]

[defensive] There may have been a few years where I wasn't watching any tv. Some of us have better things to do than sit around watching procedural dramas in hopes of conning our way into being a corporate shills, Jeff.

[bedheaded]

Oh, please. Stalking Radiohead is no excuse. It was on everywhere all the time for twenty years. The second we get back to the future, you are going to watch that show.

[theworst]

I didn't stalk Radiohead. I merely expressed my appreciation by supporting them in an active and enthusiastic way. [the certainty he has catches her off guard but she quickly give him a tight smile and nods] All right, when we get back. [she looks around his phone some more and then settles on playing Bejeweled]

[bedheaded]

[Jeff frowns. It is a moderately drunk frown. (A considerable amount of Macallan HAS been consumed by this point.)] Our phones are identical. So why are you playing Bejeweled on mine.

[theworst]

Because I can. [and it's much more fun to play on his and keep him from playing] Anyway, I feel like a tool carrying around a Blackberry.

[bedheaded]

You would hate awesome phones.

[theworst]

I would hate shallow status symbols, yeah. [and she doesn't look up as she's still playing Bejeweled and she's very pointedly keeping her concentration on the game and not Jeff]

[bedheaded]

By which you mean cool things you can't afford.

[theworst]

I could afford that stuff if I wanted to. [what else are credit cards for if not for affording things you couldn't otherwise?] If you're missing playing your game so much, my phone's on my nightstand.