bedheaded: (pic#2473404)
an exceptional narcissist ([personal profile] bedheaded) wrote in [community profile] gocirclegogo2012-02-18 01:13 am

Introductory Temporal Transportology

[A man is stuck in the streets of London. He has an amazing I-don't-care-about-my-hair-because-that's-how-cool-I-am hairstyle, $300 dollar Italian jeans, and I dare you to ask the thread count on that shirt, the first few buttons of which have been carelessly left unbuttoned. That's right. The hipsters have arrived. Also, he is holding a blackberry.]

[Clothing aside, he is not acting all that hip. He speaks with very broad hand gestures and a moderately manic expression.]


What the hell is this? When did we go Sherlock Holmes? Abed, are you doing a 'themed episode' [he doesn't need physical air quotes: he can do it with his voice] again? Because if you are, I need to know how the hell you pulled this off so it never happens again! [He stares at his Blackberry in incredulity, and here comes the last straw.] And why isn't my phone getting any signal?

[A choked scream of frustration, and he kicks a nearby crate.] This doesn't make any sense!

[Someone stop him before he finds an axe.]
theworst: (pic#2478516)

[personal profile] theworst 2012-02-19 12:16 am (UTC)(link)
Remember those tentacly alien guys? Well, there are some human hybrid ones, and they kind of really are into reproducing with humans, usually in disturbingly tentaclyrapey ways. I'd call it tentaraping, but having shorthand for something like that is almost grosser than the actual act itself.

I - um, [she thinks in her head, but she's never been the best with money, so it's not really doing much. She counts on her fingers, trying to think of expenses] Five pounds a week should cover our expenses for food. [she considers the two of them and how much they eat] We might even get away with three pounds a week for food, so twenty pounds a month doesn't sound like it's too bad for a place to live.
theworst: (Default)

[personal profile] theworst 2012-02-19 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
I guess you could call it the granddaddy of craigslist.

[beat...beat...bad joke crash and burn]

Inappropriate, right? Definitely. Sorry.

[focusing on the paper now and trying to change the subject]

But yeah, yeah, twenty pounds should be enough I think, and if you get a lawyer job, we should be more than able to swing it.
theworst: (pic#2474289)

[personal profile] theworst 2012-02-19 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
[she pouts, her shoulders squaring as she hunches in on herself defensively] Whatever. Excuse me for trying to have some levity. Maybe if you weren't so naturally severe you might know something about that.

[shrugs, still pouting and closing herself off] Yeah, I think so. We can go look for one after we go to look at that apartment.

[because even if she's a little annoyed and hurt, she still doesn't want to let Jeff out of her sight - even if she might never admit as much]
theworst: (pic#2026441)

[personal profile] theworst 2012-02-19 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
Pshaw, like you could ever hurt my feelings.

[she leans over his shoulder to look at what he picked out]

Please, I know this city like I knew the Lower East Side when I was living in New York. [she grabs his hand to pull him up again, heading towards where the first apartment is located]
theworst: (pic#2475033)

[personal profile] theworst 2012-02-19 02:53 am (UTC)(link)
Oh yeah, that reminds me, if you're offered honey with anything, don't just accept it. Wait, what am I saying, you wouldn't anyway, because what would that do to your diet? But just in case you do decide to splurge one day, when they say honey they're talking about this sort of crazy weird dream tripping and sharing hallucinogenic stuff that's pretty popular and legal around here.
theworst: (pic#2026471)

[personal profile] theworst 2012-02-19 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
Acid looks like kiddy tylenol compared to this stuff. I don't know how it works exactly, but if you take it with someone else you can share a dream with them. I think it comes from the crazy tentacley alien guys.
theworst: (pic#2026440)

[personal profile] theworst 2012-02-19 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
The tentacley rapey guys aren't always raping either. People mate with them willingly, too. Just look at that ad you saw before.

That's half the reason why I'm sure this can't be Abed. It's too dark and twisted and confusing to be anything he would come up with.
theworst: (pic#2478512)

[personal profile] theworst 2012-02-19 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
[she notices the 'accidental' way he's holding her hand tighter. She puts her free hand on top of his other hand without thinking]

You'll have to cut back on stuff too, buddy. Not that I care. It's not like I need to define myself by what I wear. What are a few leather jackets or vests or kickass boots?
theworst: (pic#2474285)

[personal profile] theworst 2012-02-19 07:55 am (UTC)(link)
Right, of course you can. [she pats his hand, grateful there isn't television or cereal, so she doesn't have to worry about him reverting to the way he acted when he crashed with Abed]

Or, just throwing this out there, you could get a job and get lots of money and buy yourself all the nice things you like with all that important money you make.
theworst: (pic#2477946)

[personal profile] theworst 2012-02-19 08:01 am (UTC)(link)
If you trust the establishment books that are put in those places, be my guest. I'm not going to stop you from exercising your freedom to be brainwashed by this fascist monarchy's regime.
theworst: (pic#2474735)

[personal profile] theworst 2012-02-19 08:10 am (UTC)(link)
Considering they don't have TV here, you can't just watch Law & Order and fake your way through it. They do have courtrooms though. We could go hang out at a few trials if you want and see if you can figure out how to fake it from there.

[she just wants to keep Jeff and not go back to being alone here, even if that means supporting his less than moral occupation]
theworst: (pic#2026470)

[personal profile] theworst 2012-02-19 08:23 am (UTC)(link)
Seeing as I'm the bread winner right now, I'll buy you one of those lawyer-y wig things.

[but she drags him along still until they finally reach one of the apartments]

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