I'M NORMALLLLL PLEASE DATE MEEEEE

[screwreality]

[SUCH A WONDERFUL DAY! Full of snowbanks and sunshine and ~ROMANCE~. Victorian gents wander around with their ladies. Victorian hobos holler at prostitutes for discounts. Forgetful idiots swarm flower shops for last-minute attempts at getting flowers before they go home and get murdered by their wives.

IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY, YOU BASTARDS! Spam your fellow taggers! Play hard to get and stop responding to everyone but your personal favorite! Sob and eat ice cream while watching your inbox stay empty! CELEBRATE WITH ALL OF YOUR SPIRIT!]

Comments

[apologizeagain]

[Light smack or not, Sae yelps anyway, his other hand instantly shooting up halfway to his arm.] H-hey! That doesn't mean you've gotta hit me! Come on, do they even really need my powers all the time?

[He cuts himself off practically half-whine however, instantly noting the change. You don't know a guy for centuries without learning to look out for these things, after all, idiot or not.

But then it's gone, and he's still not any clearer on what's going on between Zeph and the little Antichrist Name Stealer. Not that he has time to dwell on it anyway, not with the next words out of Zeph's mouth.

Assassination attempts. To the careful, or not so careful eye, Sae's entire body goes rigid, a tension in it that wasn't there before, though he tries to ignore it and carry on like before. But, when he speaks, his voice is just the slightest bit lower, not quite as whiny as before.]

...Um. Since when is the Antichrist our problem anyway?

[leviathaned]

...[Sei's bad mood just sort of deflates into a look of "you cannot really be this dumb" shock.]

...Zeph, you do know I can't feel cold, right? I think that probably bothered your friend more than it did me.

[Seriously, bro, what the hell. He also raises a hand, like plucking the string on a harp, and there's of reality...shifting back a step.

Put that water back where you found it sir.]

[capslockbomber]

[Snake Sae immediately gets the glare that means he's being an idiot and thinking completely wrong. It means he gets another bap in the arm for his effort.]

You know wanderers are my divine providence. He's my problem, which makes him yours.

[And the second comment just earns a raised eyebrow again. Genuinely confused this time. Which is hilarious and worrying because how do you not notice that.] Hah? T'hell you talking about?

[apologizeagain]

[That gets another yelp out of him, along with an awkward half-shuffle half a step away from Zeph. Rude!!

Oh, come on, Zeph, are you seriously saddling him with the Antichrist?? He'll forget to feed him. He groans at the declaration hunching further into himself.] I've just got the crazy hypochondriacs.

[As for that second comment... He finally looks at Sei again, mouth turned down in a frown.] He, uh... Kinda think he doesn't notice he does it. Maybe.

[leviathaned]

...You really can't tell? Sweet bleedin' harpies you're worse at this than I am. [Wow, Zeph, just. wow.]

Wow, okay, to back up a few steps, I'm not looking for an instruction manual because they all appear to be step one, destroy the world and I'm not into that shit. Two, you're bleeding power all over the place every time you get miffed, and since I was under the impression you don't want to level London, you might want to look into that.

[capslockbomber]

I still say you ditch your current set and work with the cultists. Pass off boons to the head priests and you got a self-regulating faith machine.

[It's the kind of mindless answer that only really good businessmen seem to manage. Though getting cut off by Sei's rant means the illusion breaks and he winces.] ...Shut up. It's none of your business.

[Crossing his arms right after and it's right back to the eerie apathy that fits way too well on his presence.] Like you said. Back up a few steps. One, there's more instruction manuals than that. You just have bad luck. Two, don't get full of yourself. I appreciate the concern, but get your own existence in line before nitpicking over one you have no comprehension of.

[apologizeagain]

[A heavy sigh. Shit's effort though, Zeph.] Unless they're gonna be healing themselves all the time, they're still gonna need some of my help sometimes.

[Yet he is completely unapologetic about the limitations on said boons. Before he can say anymore though, Zeph and Sei continue their conversation he still can't make heads or tails of beyond the basics. ...Not that he'd pay attention to a full explanation anyway.

So he shrugs, laughs awkwardly.] He's not gonna blow up London. ...I, uh, right?