I feel like Saint Nicholas is pulling my leg

[cloistre]

[So. THE DAY HAS FINALLY ARRIVED, LONDON. It is Christmas. A light snow falls upon the city, and even the Old Ones seem quiet and non-existent against the hustle and bustle of people giving gifts or doing emergency shopping despite the chances that literally nothing is actually open right now.

But that's probably just wishful thinking. You could pretend, if you tried hard enough.

What are you doing?]

Comments

[hairpine]

[What

What............................................................]

[screwreality]

[He'll wait. Sparkling with ~CHARISMA~ the whole time. But somewhere internally he is logic-ing out every possible reason this win is still a loss.

Poor Michi.]

[hairpine]

[So that's what boys from the future like...........................................................................

Give her a few more seconds. Staring;]

-- I don't have any interest in attracting men, Kumagawa!

[screwreality]

「EVEN BETTER! YOU CAN TAKE THE ICE QUEEN ARCHETYPE! THEN PEOPLE WILL PAY TO BE CRUSHED UNDER YOUR HEELS!」

[Her recovery is impressive, but ill-fated. Except defeat Michi. Break in front of him-- Nah, maybe not, he's content just messing with her. He'll break face eventually.]

[hairpine]

But, if I were to step on someone -- that would be painful for them, yes? Through a series of... rather unfortunate accidents, I once had my hand stepped upon by a woman's heel. It was painful. For what reason could someone derive pleasure from such an experience? Is that what is referred to as masochism?

[screwreality]

[That first part is a little bit heartbreaking because he knows how it feels. But that will be one of the secrets he dies with, thought stalkers! Fight him!]

「CORRECT! THOUGH YOU MAY BE CATERING TO THE SPECIFIC FIELD OF DOMINATRICES.」

[hairpine]

Those people are insane.

[screwreality]

「THAT'S RUDE, MICHI-CHAN! MY GIRLFRIEND BEATS ME UP ON THURSDAYS.」

[hairpine]

-- I apologise, it was not my intention to offend... I myself am not sane, of course! However... that sort of condition is considered to be a type of mental disorder, isn't it?

[screwreality]

「I HAVE PLENTY OF MENTAL DISORDERS, BUT THAT'S NOT ONE OF THEM! I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU.」

[Villains.jpg.]

[hairpine]

...

[Ruuuuuuude.]

Regardless, Kumagawa, if you still have time, please, do open your gift!

[screwreality]

[What are you talking about Michi, he's already wearing a scarf. And what present? There's no box.]

「I WOULD, BUT I THINK I'M IN A HURRY. WHAT GIFT DID YOU GET ANYWAY?」

[Stupid reality warping bastardklasjfkla]

[hairpine]

[He also got a stupid letter and some porn, but she is more distracted by the fact that THE BOX IS GONE]

-- Your gift --

I did hand it to you, didn't I, Kumagawa...?

[screwreality]

「YOU DID.」

[It probably vanished into the abyss of his jacket with the rest of his bad-but-really-good-tidings christmas cards.]

[hairpine]

Oh... thank goodness.

I would rather not keep you from your fight! Miss Elizabeth is my friend as well, of course, but please, do avoid losing to her. I believe that I'll make an attempt at wearing a "miniskirt" when we next meet! Please, do your utmost best to murder anyone mistaking me for a prostitute!

[screwreality]

「HA HA! IF MICHI-CHAN WEARS A MINISKIRT FOR MY SAKE, I MIGHT FIND IT IN ME TO TRY TO WIN.」

[He is entirely joking, because They quickly hiss in a breath then exhale it as a relieved sigh. Because]

「SHE'LL PROBABLY KILL ME THOUGH. OH WELL.」

[hairpine]

You must be more optimistic!

[screwreality]

「I'M BEING REALISTIC! THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE!」

[hairpine]

If you lose to Miss Elizabeth, then I shall hug you, instead!

[NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT!!!!!!!!!]

[screwreality]

「...」

[This is why she's a terrorist.]

「BUT I CAN'T WIN AGAINST HER.」

[hairpine]

[OPTIMISM!!!]

Please try as passionately as you are able! If you believe that you are capable of beating her -- regardless of whether or not such is the case -- then victory is yours! The result is irrelevant.

[screwreality]

「NO, I REALLY MEAN IT. SHE'S GOING TO DESTROY ME.」

[Sparkle. REALISM!!!]

[hairpine]

That is acceptable, provided that you aren't permanently destroyed!

[Look, she can sparkle too, jerk.]

However, you mustn't go into battle with such a mindset! Miss Elizabeth is more than capable of winning against you, but any number of factors could have an effect on her own ability to fight upon your return! Her victory and your loss are not set in stone. You told me, Kumagawa, that you tripped over a table, and that was the reason for your current condition? Are you familiar with Probability theory? Its roots lie in the sixteenth century, so it seems likely that you would have heard mention of it in your classes.

There is, perhaps, a 99.9% chance of this second battle resulting in your loss. However, that number is not 100%!

My only desire is that you place your faith in that 0.1%.

[screwreality]

[Michi may be the only one to notice it on account of she's terrorist. So, for that reason, these brackets will mention that at the mention of tables, that smile gets a single shade more false.

If she squints, it might be embarrassment.]

「I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.」

[He wont'.]

[hairpine]

[Her first, gut thought at noticing the difference, and then at that sort-of agreement -- she knows he probably lied, but he did it to placate her, because he knows it would make her happy to think he's going along, because they're friends! This is what she thinks. So basically he could have said anything other than 'no' and she would have felt the same way -- is to hug him.

She starts to go through the motions but stops herself early on. :(]

Thank you!