gocirclegogo | Memories

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Memories

[It's an unrecognizable field, really. There are flowers, tall winding tress, and patches of grass that are meant to resemble the gardens of Xanadu. But the layout and types of flora are all different - it's all wrong. But in Yuri's subconscious, it is Xanadu and he recognizes it as such.

It's a memory set somewhere else, but it's a memory nonetheless, each one separated with a shifting of the trees. First, Garista with his long blond hair. His sword meets Garista in the gut after a flurry of blue magic, the blood staining the blade and his worn out Knight's uniform.

And though it happened years later, he finds himself facing Ragou who cowers in fear, such a helpless-looking man who had only his position at his disposal. But still Yuri slices at him, and Ragou's body falls on top of Garista's.

Cumore, now, sniveling and begging for his life. Yuri doesn't slay him this time, his blade at his side as he looks on coldly. The leaves on the ground turn to sand and slowly, slowly swallow up the pink and purple and periwinkle of Cumore and the small mountain of bodies piled around him.

Xanadu fades to a desert, neither the Sands of Kagorh nor the Sand City. It's simply sand, and a rune - so distinctive in shape and color - sparkles bright on his hand. Estelle is laughing and taunting, though no words meet Yuri's ears. She's swinging a machete that looks wrong in her hands, she's caught in a bubble and begging him to kill her. He answers her wish, and she slumps into the sand.

Flynn comes running to him, yelling and shouting without a sound. Yuri's hand reaches out (perhaps under the rune's influence, perhaps not), and a black dome encages Flynn.

Now there's screaming. Pain, fear - the blue of Flynn's eyes blown wide before the dome disappears and Flynn's body drops into the sand.

Yuri watches.

A glance down and his hands are as red as his sword. A glance up and the bodies are piled before him - the men who deserved death and the loved ones who were caught by his mistakes. He sees Clay, the vigilante whose idea of justice consumed him, whose justice became vengeance instead. Clay- who smiles something eerie, who smiles right at Yuri like a brother.]

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[Yuri's glad for that. If he were anything like Flynn, despite what Yuri would want, he would totally ignore that in favor of pestering and pestering and questioning and asking and then, finally, some punching.

Flynn's a real swell guy like that.]

What tough guy image? I'm just me.

[Yuri's own tone is distant, distracted, like he's not really here at all.

He just feels sick.]

Did we buy anything for soup?

[Chicken noodle soup...]

[It may end up with pestering anyway, if Yuri keeps acting so out of it.]

Mmhm.

[Guy strokes his chin, and says without changing his tone of voice.]

Yeah I think so, we have vegetables and I got some alligator to toss in.

[Still with him in the present, Yuri?]

Thanks.

[He stands and shakes his head, pushing his bangs out of his face. That sick feeling won't go away - especially when he remembers the lingering sense of odor from Guy's nightmare.]

I-- need a shower. I'll be out soon.

[He plans to make his own soup afterward as he shuffles to do his bathing.]

[Yeah. Yuri's out of it. Guy watches him get up, then gets up himself. Soup, huh? He has to wonder if that's Yuri's comfort food, but either way he can make some. Which is exactly what he does, while Yuri showers.]

[It's a two-fold purpose. Getting the soup ready for his friend takes care of that itself, and something like cooking is... It helps clear his head from the feeling of murder. He's never had too much worry about taking life in the right circumstances, but that dream was different. It was clear cut, cold-blooded murder. Maybe Guy had planned murder himself once but... He muses over it as he stirs the simple soup he's making out of some bullion and chicken and vegetables. The domestic task chases away some of the lingering unsettled feelings. The smell of food is comforting as well.]

[And there's Yuri to deal with. Guy's pretty sure he does know how Flynn would deal with it. But he's not Flynn, and he can't try to replace Flynn for Yuri.]

[He'll just wait and see how Yuri seems when he gets out of the shower, before deciding how to approach the other on the subject, or if to approach him at all.]

[The shower is quick - he just needed some time to clear his thoughts with only the warmth of water on his skin - and after toweling down and redressing, Yuri's out and wandering into the little kitchenette. His hair is up in a ponytail. Dripping.]

Huh- thanks.

[You didn't have to make food, he wants to say, but there's no point. They're in this together, and it's clear from the other day that Guy simply -- does these things.]

Smells good.

You're dripping.

[It's not scolding, just pointing out in case Yuri's just still, out of it.]

It'll be done in a few minutes. Feeling any better?

[Yuri pulls a towel over his shoulders and sits at the table like a good boy with good manners.]

Thanks for pointing that out.

[Yuri cracks a smile.]

Feeling cleaner, anyway.

[He shakes his head. And a pause, hands idly tugging at the ends of the towel.]

It's not a dream I haven't had before.

[He tries to sound as nonchalant as possible.]

So. I'm fine.

[Guy is so proud. Manners, aren't they awesome? If only he could have taught them to Luke earlier.]

Do you want to talk about it?

[He's still looking at the soup, and even if he has the idea Yuri has no interest in discussing it, he's going to ask anyway. And he sighs at the I'm fine.]

Just because you're used to something doesn't make it fine. After a dream like that, no one would be fine. [His tone is even and calm and not accusing or judging or even sympathizing.]

Not really.

[He wants to forget Flynn's face, his scream, Estelle's pleading, those bodies. He wants to forget that in this dream, he killed them all. He wants to forget that in reality, he could have killed them all.]

It's just a dream.

[He leans back in his chair, tilting it on its back legs.]

Alright, tough guy.

[Guy shrugs, stirring the soup again and getting a bowl. He serves the soup and sets it in front of Yuri, spoon included.]

I didn't add any alligator by the way.

We discussed that whole tough guy thing.

[He smiles, laughs low.]

Even if you did, I'm not picky. You can't imagine some of the stuff Flynn used to put in his soups.

Yeah. And for the record, you're way too skinny to pull it off. Short, too.

[Guy pulls up a chair and settles into it, as usual turning it backwards and resting his arms on the back. And if Yuri's going to be changing the topic like this continually... Should he let him?]

I'd rather not even try to imagine.

[Yuri just rolls his eyes, sipping the hot soup slowly. He blows into his spoonful every now and then, relishing the calming effects.]

All you tasted was his sandwich. I had to live with him.

I can guess a little, but you're right, I'm sure I'll never truly get the full effect.

[And he's counting his blessings. Living with Natalia and Luke's cooking while on the road was scary enough.]

You know, at first I thought he was one of those "too good to be true" guys. In a way, tasting his sandwich was the best way to trusting him. No one who cooks that horribly can be that bad.

[It's true, even if he's revealing that little gem just to make Yuri laugh.]

"Too good to be true?"

[He does laugh, but not at Flynn's cooking.]

No... Flynn's the perfect leader. The perfect knight. My world back home needs someone like him.

[There is very clear admiration in his tone, a fondness in his eyes. They may fight constantly, but Yuri obviously puts Flynn on a pedestal, knowingly or not.]

He's an idiot, and sometimes he follows orders way too blindly. But he's a good guy. The best I've ever known.

[Guy can see that admiration and love plain as day. His smile is warm as he listens.]

Then I guess he's pretty lucky to have a friend like you.

[...and Yuri is terrible with taking compliments.]

The Commandant's got bigger fish to fry. He doesn't need someone like me sticking around when the Council's trying hard enough as it is to get him demoted.

[A shrug!]

[Tough.]

I'm serious. Someone in his position needs someone he can rely on to watch his back. And keep him in line. If he's in a tough political situation... You're probably even more necessary. Bad attitude and all.

[Guy's only spent most of his life quietly observing Kimlascan politics from the shadows. And keeping up with Malkuth's as well. Not to mention... He has some rather serious regrets about not being at Van's side when his friend needed him. He still wonders... If he'd been with Van, could things have been different? He knows it's not true, that the only reason he sees things differently than Van is because of Luke, but still...]

[And time to turn the tables.]

What, you'd know? Sounds like you have some experience in the matter.

[Yuri isn't sure how much he agrees. He's not sure what he would do if Flynn were caught in a political situation -- would he be willing to take to his blade and personal court of law again?

He knows that if it were Flynn, he'd do just about anything.]

Yeah, I've had opportunity to watch that kinda thing from the sidelines.

[He doesn't really mean Yuri's vigilantism. He shrugs.]

When the pressure's on, a trusted friend's a hell of a lot more important than an image, you know?

[Not that an image can't be vitally important, but public opinion can be... fickle even if you try your hardest to keep it.]

There's a lot more value in having a friend to rely on who won't betray you, than you seem to put credit in.

[And that is definitely experience talking.]

That's a lot of talk for someone who was just a servant.

[He sips his soup very, very pointedly, his eyes betraying nothing. Well, he hopes so, anyway, but there's idle curiosity, a mind piecing together all the snippets of information he knows about Guy.

For someone who's so open and friendly, Guy's also a shroud of mystery.

Yuri is more interested in that than what Guy has to say.]

[Guy knows he's being watched but he ignores it. It's kind of like being stared at by Jade, and if Yuri wants to know something he can ask. Not that Guy's necessarily going to answer straight.]

Servants know a lot more than people tend to think. You wouldn't believe the secrets I've overheard. A really good servant is like a piece of furniture, invisible until the moment you need it, but always there.

Don't underestimate a servant's insight.

[And there is absolutely nothing fucked up about basically calling himself furniture. Nothing at all. Not with that bright, friendly, totally open grin.]

[Yuri's eyes narrow at this. He already disliked the nobility for their complete ignorance about what was real and what was important in this world. All they cared about was the correct dance steps and which rouge was in fashion. But he couldn't stand the way they treated people they saw as beneath them.

He couldn't understand- it it because of Guy's background in nobility that he made the perfect servant?

To think those bastards would treat another person like furniture - with the servant's blessing. It sickened him. The lack of will and choice, all because of a world in which nobles had all the cards and those without had to scrounge however they could.

He doesn't completely know Guy's situation, but he knows from that statement and yesterday's actions that he does not approve either way.]

Are you proud of yourself? Being such a good servant?

[He sets his spoon down, really looks at Guy.]

Didn't think you'd be the type to enjoy being someone else's dog.

[Guy sits up from his easy slouch, and the change in posture is immediate. He may be sprawled backwards in the chair but he's sitting up as attentive as a servant. He's looking right back and meeting Yuri's eyes.]

[Seems he hit some kind of button with that. It's not like Guy thinks the reality is a nice one, himself. Living on both sides has taught him a hell of a lot about inequality, injustice, and being an invisible person, and what that means. They may have veered from the point he meant to make about Flynn and politics and spies, but he can at least respect that this is apparently a major issue for Yuri.]

[What he can't accept is being called a dog by someone he considers a friend, and he drops the easy-going smile.]

This is the only time I'll let you say something like that to me.

[Quiet, and maintaining his calm, though... Obviously irritated. Which probably means he's extremely pissed off, if it shows at all.]

I don't see this conversation going anywhere, so let's not talk about it.

[He continues to meet Yuri's eyes, visibly annoyed.]

[Yuri's expression is still pinched - every injustice he's ever felt bubbling in a mind already worn out by a night of terrible dreams.]

It's a good thing I don't usually need your permission, then.

[Blind obedience is exactly what led Flynn to allow Alexei-- not that he thinks Guy is anything like Flynn in that regard. But the idea of it festers, and he's grasping for conclusions he doesn't want to draw.]

You're one of the strongest people I've met. You should know there's a difference between helping people and letting them walk all over you.

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