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Memories

[It's an unrecognizable field, really. There are flowers, tall winding tress, and patches of grass that are meant to resemble the gardens of Xanadu. But the layout and types of flora are all different - it's all wrong. But in Yuri's subconscious, it is Xanadu and he recognizes it as such.

It's a memory set somewhere else, but it's a memory nonetheless, each one separated with a shifting of the trees. First, Garista with his long blond hair. His sword meets Garista in the gut after a flurry of blue magic, the blood staining the blade and his worn out Knight's uniform.

And though it happened years later, he finds himself facing Ragou who cowers in fear, such a helpless-looking man who had only his position at his disposal. But still Yuri slices at him, and Ragou's body falls on top of Garista's.

Cumore, now, sniveling and begging for his life. Yuri doesn't slay him this time, his blade at his side as he looks on coldly. The leaves on the ground turn to sand and slowly, slowly swallow up the pink and purple and periwinkle of Cumore and the small mountain of bodies piled around him.

Xanadu fades to a desert, neither the Sands of Kagorh nor the Sand City. It's simply sand, and a rune - so distinctive in shape and color - sparkles bright on his hand. Estelle is laughing and taunting, though no words meet Yuri's ears. She's swinging a machete that looks wrong in her hands, she's caught in a bubble and begging him to kill her. He answers her wish, and she slumps into the sand.

Flynn comes running to him, yelling and shouting without a sound. Yuri's hand reaches out (perhaps under the rune's influence, perhaps not), and a black dome encages Flynn.

Now there's screaming. Pain, fear - the blue of Flynn's eyes blown wide before the dome disappears and Flynn's body drops into the sand.

Yuri watches.

A glance down and his hands are as red as his sword. A glance up and the bodies are piled before him - the men who deserved death and the loved ones who were caught by his mistakes. He sees Clay, the vigilante whose idea of justice consumed him, whose justice became vengeance instead. Clay- who smiles something eerie, who smiles right at Yuri like a brother.]

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[At this rate they're never going to get a good night's sleep. Guy sits up, abrupt, heart racing. He didn't recognize all the faces, not the first three, anyway. And then it was Estelle he was murdering... and then Flynn.]

[It made sense in the context of the dream. Awake, it's more jumbled. Guy doesn't have to think about it though. He's already struggling from under the covers, tossing them off and slipping out of bed, bare feet hitting the floor. He can barely see but he just needs to shuffle a few steps, find the edge of Yuri's bed, and sit down, a little clumsily, reaching out to the writhing, near-silent figure.]

Hey.

[Softly, first, because darkness asks to be spoken softly too. But quiet doesn't cut it, and leaning closer, right over Yuri, Guy shakes him lightly, voice rising to a normal tone. It sounds like a shout to his own ears, despite it being just a reasonable speaking voice level.]

Yuri. Yuri, wake up! It's just a dream.

[How many times has he done this? Not for Yuri, but Luke? It's almost instinct now, and Guy's not even sure he's entirely awake. The images from the dream linger in the back of his mind, the feeling from it... He's trying not to think about it right now, but it keeps pushing forward.]

[He wakes up startled, shaken, and his eyes are wide with disbelief and loss. It's too dark to see clearly - and maybe even if there had been light, he still wouldn't have been able to see clearly - but he knows that blonde, that flash of blue, feels the strength in the presence before him.]

Flynn-

[The tendrils of dream still hold onto him, and he doesn't know what he's saying at first, just holding onto the other's upper arm and pulling him in for a tight, don't-you-dare-die hug. They've done this before, and only Flynn has really seen Yuri at his worst and most vulnerable. As loathe as he is to show it, the scream still sounds loud in his ears.

But as sleep scatters away from his eyelids, he starts to remember his reality. He hasn't seen Flynn in days, he hasn't been anywhere near the actual City in days. He's been with Guy in a strange place called London.

He pulls away and sighs, his arms dropping heavily to his side as he shakes his head. It's a moment before he speaks.]

Sorry, did I wake you?

Edited 2012-03-29 09:09 (UTC)

[It's automatic for Guy to wrap his arms around Yuri's shoulders, hugging him and rubbing his palm in a soothing circle over Yuri's upper back. He doesn't stop Yuri from pulling back and away as reality asserts itself, though. He could pretty much guess from just that name what Yuri's mind was seeing when he woke up. He leans back, letting his arms fall to his sides, resting one palm flat behind him and leaning on it.]

Nah.

[He raises his other hand, makes a light gesture of dismissal, though his voice is quiet and gentle. Not sure how to say it delicately, he'll just say it bluntly.]

I was there too. [A beat, to let Yuri accept that.] How are you doing?

[And Yuri's just going to ignore the fact that Guy saw his every-- it isn't regret, not with Ragou and Cumore and Garista. But it's definitely something. It's the job that needs doing yet nobody wants to do. That was always his role in life, wasn't it?]

It's fine.

[He shrugs, sits up proper to stretch out the kinks in his muscles. Idly, he begins to scratch at the back of his hand, the memory of a mark no longer there.]

But I'll admit it's been a while since I've had a nightmare. Think it's got something to do with this place?

[Yuri tactic #5: If you have something you want to avoid, try addressing a similar yet also pressing issue as a distraction.]

[Guy gives him a mild look. It isn't sharp, but it's... Knowing. Whether Yuri catches the look or not, Guy's on to this tactic. He lets it slide for now, because pressing the issue at this very moment doesn't seem right. He reserves the right to change his mind on that judgment call though, depending on how Yuri seems. Guy knows the nightmare's left him still feeling unsettled and unhappy.]

It's got to be. Unless you developed some dream-sharing powers while I was gone.

[His words are light but his tone is... Gentle. It's not coddling or belittling. It's just... not bright and vibrant, either. Calm and quiet, mostly.]

And I'm pretty sure even your timing isn't that bad.

[He laughs softly, distractedly. He knows exactly how Guy's looking at him right now, and he doesn't need to look up from his hands to see it. He doesn't want pity, he doesn't want comfort, he doesn't want to acknowledge what happened at all.

It's just a dream, after all.

And it's all in the past.]

No dream-sharing powers here.

[He shakes his head]

If I did, I'd choose- I don't know. Ice cream and puppies.

[Not rotting corpses and murder.]

Edited 2012-03-29 10:35 (UTC)

[Guy knows that mentality of 'dismissing it'. He's still letting Yuri go without calling him on it, for now. He just sits here, close, alive and real and hoping that's enough to dispel the nightmares for now.]

Really? Ice cream and puppies? Don't you think that'd ruin your tough guy image?

[Light teasing. Still calm and subdued, without the usual buoyant cheer, but not... unconvincing. The gentle teasing is real. And even if it's Guy's way of showing concern for a man who hates people being concerned about him, it's not a pushy kind of worry.]

[Not that Guy wouldn't easily switch to that if he thought it necessary. It's still hard for him to imagine how Yuri must feel--hard enough for Guy to experience the dream, but to dream of killing Estelle and Flynn, for Yuri that kind of nightmare...]

[Yuri's glad for that. If he were anything like Flynn, despite what Yuri would want, he would totally ignore that in favor of pestering and pestering and questioning and asking and then, finally, some punching.

Flynn's a real swell guy like that.]

What tough guy image? I'm just me.

[Yuri's own tone is distant, distracted, like he's not really here at all.

He just feels sick.]

Did we buy anything for soup?

[Chicken noodle soup...]

[It may end up with pestering anyway, if Yuri keeps acting so out of it.]

Mmhm.

[Guy strokes his chin, and says without changing his tone of voice.]

Yeah I think so, we have vegetables and I got some alligator to toss in.

[Still with him in the present, Yuri?]

Thanks.

[He stands and shakes his head, pushing his bangs out of his face. That sick feeling won't go away - especially when he remembers the lingering sense of odor from Guy's nightmare.]

I-- need a shower. I'll be out soon.

[He plans to make his own soup afterward as he shuffles to do his bathing.]

[Yeah. Yuri's out of it. Guy watches him get up, then gets up himself. Soup, huh? He has to wonder if that's Yuri's comfort food, but either way he can make some. Which is exactly what he does, while Yuri showers.]

[It's a two-fold purpose. Getting the soup ready for his friend takes care of that itself, and something like cooking is... It helps clear his head from the feeling of murder. He's never had too much worry about taking life in the right circumstances, but that dream was different. It was clear cut, cold-blooded murder. Maybe Guy had planned murder himself once but... He muses over it as he stirs the simple soup he's making out of some bullion and chicken and vegetables. The domestic task chases away some of the lingering unsettled feelings. The smell of food is comforting as well.]

[And there's Yuri to deal with. Guy's pretty sure he does know how Flynn would deal with it. But he's not Flynn, and he can't try to replace Flynn for Yuri.]

[He'll just wait and see how Yuri seems when he gets out of the shower, before deciding how to approach the other on the subject, or if to approach him at all.]

[The shower is quick - he just needed some time to clear his thoughts with only the warmth of water on his skin - and after toweling down and redressing, Yuri's out and wandering into the little kitchenette. His hair is up in a ponytail. Dripping.]

Huh- thanks.

[You didn't have to make food, he wants to say, but there's no point. They're in this together, and it's clear from the other day that Guy simply -- does these things.]

Smells good.

You're dripping.

[It's not scolding, just pointing out in case Yuri's just still, out of it.]

It'll be done in a few minutes. Feeling any better?

[Yuri pulls a towel over his shoulders and sits at the table like a good boy with good manners.]

Thanks for pointing that out.

[Yuri cracks a smile.]

Feeling cleaner, anyway.

[He shakes his head. And a pause, hands idly tugging at the ends of the towel.]

It's not a dream I haven't had before.

[He tries to sound as nonchalant as possible.]

So. I'm fine.

[Guy is so proud. Manners, aren't they awesome? If only he could have taught them to Luke earlier.]

Do you want to talk about it?

[He's still looking at the soup, and even if he has the idea Yuri has no interest in discussing it, he's going to ask anyway. And he sighs at the I'm fine.]

Just because you're used to something doesn't make it fine. After a dream like that, no one would be fine. [His tone is even and calm and not accusing or judging or even sympathizing.]

Not really.

[He wants to forget Flynn's face, his scream, Estelle's pleading, those bodies. He wants to forget that in this dream, he killed them all. He wants to forget that in reality, he could have killed them all.]

It's just a dream.

[He leans back in his chair, tilting it on its back legs.]

Alright, tough guy.

[Guy shrugs, stirring the soup again and getting a bowl. He serves the soup and sets it in front of Yuri, spoon included.]

I didn't add any alligator by the way.

We discussed that whole tough guy thing.

[He smiles, laughs low.]

Even if you did, I'm not picky. You can't imagine some of the stuff Flynn used to put in his soups.

Yeah. And for the record, you're way too skinny to pull it off. Short, too.

[Guy pulls up a chair and settles into it, as usual turning it backwards and resting his arms on the back. And if Yuri's going to be changing the topic like this continually... Should he let him?]

I'd rather not even try to imagine.

[Yuri just rolls his eyes, sipping the hot soup slowly. He blows into his spoonful every now and then, relishing the calming effects.]

All you tasted was his sandwich. I had to live with him.

I can guess a little, but you're right, I'm sure I'll never truly get the full effect.

[And he's counting his blessings. Living with Natalia and Luke's cooking while on the road was scary enough.]

You know, at first I thought he was one of those "too good to be true" guys. In a way, tasting his sandwich was the best way to trusting him. No one who cooks that horribly can be that bad.

[It's true, even if he's revealing that little gem just to make Yuri laugh.]

"Too good to be true?"

[He does laugh, but not at Flynn's cooking.]

No... Flynn's the perfect leader. The perfect knight. My world back home needs someone like him.

[There is very clear admiration in his tone, a fondness in his eyes. They may fight constantly, but Yuri obviously puts Flynn on a pedestal, knowingly or not.]

He's an idiot, and sometimes he follows orders way too blindly. But he's a good guy. The best I've ever known.

[Guy can see that admiration and love plain as day. His smile is warm as he listens.]

Then I guess he's pretty lucky to have a friend like you.

[...and Yuri is terrible with taking compliments.]

The Commandant's got bigger fish to fry. He doesn't need someone like me sticking around when the Council's trying hard enough as it is to get him demoted.

[A shrug!]

[Tough.]

I'm serious. Someone in his position needs someone he can rely on to watch his back. And keep him in line. If he's in a tough political situation... You're probably even more necessary. Bad attitude and all.

[Guy's only spent most of his life quietly observing Kimlascan politics from the shadows. And keeping up with Malkuth's as well. Not to mention... He has some rather serious regrets about not being at Van's side when his friend needed him. He still wonders... If he'd been with Van, could things have been different? He knows it's not true, that the only reason he sees things differently than Van is because of Luke, but still...]

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