gocirclegogo | Introductory Temporal Transportology

[A man is stuck in the streets of London. He has an amazing I-don't-care-about-my-hair-because-that's-how-cool-I-am hairstyle, $300 dollar Italian jeans, and I dare you to ask the thread count on that shirt, the first few buttons of which have been carelessly left unbuttoned. That's right. The hipsters have arrived. Also, he is holding a blackberry.]

[Clothing aside, he is not acting all that hip. He speaks with very broad hand gestures and a moderately manic expression.]

What the hell is this? When did we go Sherlock Holmes? Abed, are you doing a 'themed episode' [he doesn't need physical air quotes: he can do it with his voice] again? Because if you are, I need to know how the hell you pulled this off so it never happens again! [He stares at his Blackberry in incredulity, and here comes the last straw.] And why isn't my phone getting any signal?

[A choked scream of frustration, and he kicks a nearby crate.] This doesn't make any sense!

[Someone stop him before he finds an axe.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Meta senses note tingling. Meaning he's just a loud genre savvy dude. Sigh. Where are all the pieces in this place, geez.

Gothic lolitas are cool, right?]

Ah, maybe the battery is dying? Mine gets signal just fine.

[Idly checking her phone.]

What? Give me that. [And he goes for the snatching of that phone.]

H-Hey! [Predicted and anticipated but still. Her phone.] Look, see? The signal is fine. Maybe your phone is just really cheap?

My phone is not cheap, it's a Blackberry! [He starts poking through buttons and hold on.] This is in Japanese. ...Does that battery symbol mean infinite lifespan? How is that even possible? [He flips the phone over to look at the battery pack, pulls it out, and flips it over again.] Why is it still working?

[One hand on her hip, lips pursed for a moment.] Oh, you're smarter than you look. It would have been boring otherwise. It's working via magic. Someone else missed the internet and designed these. You're free to freak out over it if you want but I'll only be able to explain when you're done.

I am exactly as smart as I look, which is to say I look like a genius. A cool genius. [He does turn off his phone, because he is now wasting batteries and he doesn't have a power adapter. Then he looks at Erika.] Unless this is a drug trip, or a dream, or the consequence of monkey gas in the vents again, or somehow the realization of everything the two giant dorks in my study group ever wanted, I have travelled back in time. I am so far beyond freaking out, I should be running an asylum. Explain this to me.

Edited 2012-02-18 07:43 (UTC)

[Slow eyebrow raise but sure. He's right about him and an asylum, says Erika of all people.]

I'm a Detective, not a physicist. Those two dorks probably could explain the processes. What I know is that apparently this is a common phenomenon here that people from other times just wash up, so to speak. Occasionally cult groups bring them in. You're more likely an unfortunate former than the oh-so-lucky latter.

[pause]

Well, thank God everyone speaks English. [And suddenly, Winger is back on his feet. He actually smiles at her.] Hi, I'm sorry. Being flung back through time into an alternate universe had an effect on me. I'm just not used to that sort of thing. But thanks for your help. I'm Jeff Winger. Thanks for letting me look at your cell phone.

[Wow, he bounces back fast.]

Not bad. Furudo Erika. Erika Furudo in Western order. Time travel is a new one to me but I don't mind. It's a good enough era for mystery novels.

Well, I'm glad they have those covered. Less importantly, if people keep showing up from nowhere here, how do they all survive?

I don't know how other people do but I got a boyfriend. That could be a viable solution.

Tempting, but these aren't the right jeans for seducing other men.

[Ah, he's fun. She likes him. Erika shuts one eye and shifts her hips with her skirt.] Girls are lucky with skirts like that. But if you want a serious answer, there are charities that specialise in this.

[He is not looking, because ~~Annie~~ Erika's a bit young, so he'll try not to sexualize her.] Really? Yippee. I love relying on charity. Do they have anything to do with these cults I've been hearing so much about?

[It is best not to sexualise her for sanity reasons, too.] Many of them do, in fact. Though some are just bored wealthy people trying to look good.

Bored wealthy people trying to look good I can do. It was practically my job.

I had it easy since anything Japanese is 'in.' But if you're really as clever as you look, I'm sure you can impress them, too.

[a pause] You think they've let go of the whole American Revolution thing?

Willard gets some teasing and snobby comments but otherwise they don't seem to mind. Funny that event still happened even if it was over different religions. Oh well.

Sorry, it was over what? I thought it was about tea and taxes. [He spent most of his weekends in high school drunk. Be grateful he remembers this much.] Are you telling me it's different here?

[Erika pauses, then giggles.] Well, there were quite a lot of determining factors from what I recall. Freedom was a general theme but the taxes were the final straw? Ah, well. It's the same here but you add in more cults.

Yeah, about that, I have just one question. How can they be cults if they're mainstream? Isn't pretty much every religion a cult under those terms? Or do they proudly identify with this title?

Only people like us really call them that. If you say 'cults' to someone around here, they'll generally think of Christianity and religions we're familiar with.

[Well that'd be a fun one to pass back to Shirley.] I'll keep an eye out on that.

One more thing: who gave your phone Internet connection?

[A pause, then Erika grins and curtsies.]

My Master, Mikado-sama. He is quite an imposing figure, so you can't miss him, but he would be willing to lend you one.

(no subject)

bedheaded - 2012-02-21 10:27 (UTC) - Expand