Wasted and wounded, it ain't what the moon did

[inblood]

[It's been a few days since the...incident with Kumagawa. Thanks to Sei things turned out better than they could have, but it still isn't something Touya could just recover from. He's spent these last few days in his room, avoiding contact with others as much as possible, not eating or talking, barely even responding to anything. Today, Audi finally kicked him out of the room to  eat something.

Flatmates can find him poking about for food and making a small and simple snack. He still isn't very hungry, but health is important.

Later on, he ventures out to the streets. With the seal back in its proper place, Bouffalant wasn't really conscious enough to follow Touya, so now Touya's out looking for the buffafro that's been meandering through the streets for days. They'll find eachother eventually, they always do.

Finally, after he's found his buffalo, Touya can be found in a park or other relatively peaceful part of London. He's sitting with his eyes closed, back against the large Pokemon, just listening to everything around him. His head's been ringing ever since that event, maybe if he focuses and listens he can find the cause. He's still too jittery for this to look like meditation though.]

Comments

[inblood]

[He listens to the explanation quietly. He doesn't really know what you "God" might be - maybe like those rumors and legends he's heard about incredibly, unbelievably powerful Pokemon. In any case, the details remind him of N and what the man says he intends to do, and that makes Touya's blood run cold.

He's quiet for a few moments afterward. So this must be what the head inquisitor meant about sharing secrets. It's his turn now, isn't it? He steels himself to explain.]

I...I'm a Berserker. E-Everyone says that that's...that that's my true nature, that I'm really someone who doesn't c-care about friends or family, o-or anything but destruction. A-And they aren't wrong - there's a reason nobody trusts a Berserker. That's...that's how it is. A Berserker doesn't see friends or enemies, a-anything still moving is just...a target. A-And they- we don't stop for injuries and can't be predicted, so...th-the only way to stop us is to knock us out or seal that side away.

[But sealing a Berserker has its own consequences. Touya's learned that too well. And even when sealed, Berserkers aren't trusted.]

[leviathaned]

...[Sei's quiet for a long time, before he...shrugs. And ruffles Touya's hair.]

Lucky for you, I've never been good at rules. So there's a side of you that can't distinguish between friend or foe; that is not all you are. Your 'true nature' is only defined by you, but you get there by taking all your parts and making them into something more than any of them.

It...doesn't always work the second or fifth or fifteenth try but life is nothing but a work-in-progress anyway. You can't kill me, and I can keep you from hurting the others. It doesn't matter how other people think it's supposed to work. Rules, destiny, the expectations of others...those are made to be broken.

[inblood]

[Quite suddenly, Touya is crying. This is the first time someone's accepted that part of him.]

...Th-Thank you. Thank you, thank you... Th-Thank you, so much... [He rubs his eyes, trying to dry them.] Y-You're...the best friend I've ever had. S-So thank you.

[leviathaned]

[...This just got awkward oh god Touya look at your life choices.]

I...have to say that speaks pretty badly of the people you knew before, if I'm the best you've got. [He manages a smile, since, well. Joking is funny, right? Right. oh god someone help how does I friendship]

You don't have to thank me for anything. It's the truth, that's all there is to it.

[inblood]

[Let it never be said that Touya knows how to people. Still, he manages a smile at the joke.]

Y-You're the first person to accept that side of me... I-I can't even accept it. I think that's worthy of thanks.

[You are giving his horrible day a happy ending, that's also worthy of thanks.]

[leviathaned]

I don't think we can ever really run from these parts of ourselves. [Here you get a headpat.]

I'd rather face it head on, on my own terms, than be blindsided by it all the time.

[inblood]

Then...you're braver than me. K-Kumagawa's right, I'm just...a coward. [...It's been a long day, alright. Touya's smile has turned somewhat self-deprecating. He hadn't planned to let you know he'd run into Kumagawa again, but he wasn't exactly intending not to, either.]

[leviathaned]

Kumagawa? [Sei's eyes narrow rather sharply and the temperature drops a bit. O-Oops.] He's a hell of a one to talk. The understanding he talks about is only half the equation.

People are cowards. It's the way we're made. Bravery doesn't come from lacking fear, but in fighting it for your own sake. He's got no right to call anyone else a coward, in any case. Brandishing your faults like a sword and saying it's just the way you are is simply another way of running. I've got no patience for his obsession with 'understanding' while he acts like that. You don't need to let him get to you, either.

Change for yourself, not someone else.

[inblood]

Y-Yeah, I...met him [again? Last time wasn't exactly a meeting, but...] today.

[He shivers with the drop in temperature.] Running away... Someone else I met today sad something similar. That, that I'm like him, because that w-we're both good at running away. [Touya isn't sure he likes being compared to Kumagawa one bit. It's true that he's only good at running away, though...he runs away from everything.]

[leviathaned]

Well, he's certainly good at that. That's about where the similarities end, though. If he has compassion for other people, he's run away from that, too. They have to be in as bad as shape as he is first, or something.

[Huffs. Unlike the Minuses, Sei isn't content to stay at the bottom. He'll claw his way into a world and make it one that accepts him, and it works.

...being the antichrist might give him an unfair advantage there though.]

[inblood]

[Touya exhales, a sigh of relief. Compassion. That's what a Healer needs, one of many things a Berserker lacks, and something that makes him different from Kumagawa. There's a smile again. He decides to change the subject before he finds some way to let Kumagawa's words get to him again.]

I...met someone else today, too. Someone who didn't hurt my ears at all. [Elaine and Kumagawa are kind of horrible to listen to, his ears are still aching.] It was actually quiet around him. Real quiet, not...empty, or drowning everything else out, but...peaceful.

[leviathaned]

Oh, Will. My uncle. [Technically.]

[inblood]

[Touya's impressed. He didn't even mention Will had called you family, or indeed anything but the sounds he knows not everyone can hear.]

He did say you were family. He...he's nicer than the papers made him seem. He let me sit in his office for a while. [It was so nice and quiet and made the day a whole lot better!]

[leviathaned]

Huh. Guess he likes you. [Or something.] He's kind of rude but he's not a bad guy.

[inblood]

Hard to believe anyone who sounded like that could be... [It was legitimately the most amazing sound and Touya wishes he could share it somehow.] I guess...he isn't human either? He said I could ask you.

[leviathaned]

He's an angel. Dominion. Te..chnically he Fell from grace because he didn't kill me but never bring that up around him.

As for the sound, I'm sure I could arrange something.

[inblood]

["Angel"? "Dominion"? "Grace"? Touya isn't really sure what these mean in context, but he gets the general concept, especially with what you said about yourself earlier. He focuses on that last statement however, and his face lights up like a little kid in a candy shop.]

Really? That...that would be wonderful...!