TOO COOL FOR SONG LYRICS SRYSRY

[alethiological]

[Insert comment, get threads. Characters wanted in subject line or comment context w/e w/e.

EXPECT DELAYS BECAUSE I LIVE WITH ASSHOLES]

Comments

[hairpine]

Yes! I believe that to be the case.

He is quite rude, as well!

[alethiological]

I'm rude too, so it's a family thing. [Shrug.]

But he'll be fine. He'll figure out what he's doing.

[...]

Probably.

[hairpine]

He threatened to strangle me! You, at least, have yet to vocalize your desire to kill me -- that simple fact makes you far more gentlemanly, Sir!

[alethiological]

I wouldn't strangle you.

[Aww, how gentlemanly--]

If I had to kill you, it would be slow and torturous and I would destroy your very soul. So do me a favor and don't do anything that would make me have to do my job.

[...Okay, maybe he is ruder.]

[hairpine]

...

[ummm]

What is your real job, Sir?

[alethiological]

Order of the Christian Faith, Head Inquisitor of Heresy, Willard H. Wright.

[If she or her father has looked at a newspaper anywhere around the end of last year, or were alive as of last year, that name means "person who genocided all but two members of Dagon's order and then killed two gods because Abominations".

Significantly less insane in person, significantly less mannered, still scary. 1/3 isn't bad, really.]

I understand you're a friend of Sei's. So I never saw a thing as long as you don't do anything noticeable. Got it?

[Giving get out of jail free cards to abominations. Now 0.5/3, oh well.]

[hairpine]

... Oh. It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr Wright --

[Wait he said the f word!!!]

... Are he and I friends? Did he say that?

[alethiological]

... Just Will.

[That pause is externally the one of someone throwing away protocol. Internally, it's whether to have an abomination refer to him by first name.

But whatever, he let the antichrist go. Can't fuck up much worse than that.] No, but I doubt he would. I'm not his therapist. But you know his first name, he's never spoken badly of you, and you don't seem to hate him. Which means the relationship between you two is only positive. Thus, friends.

[Social math.]

[hairpine]

[And her face just lights up. She doesn't smile -- she looks more surprised than anything else, but she might as well be sparkling.]

Oh...!

That certainly is true! I do not hate him -- there are many people that I feel unfond towards, but Mr Sei is not such a person... ah, but he only gave me his given name! I had simply thought of him as a human that I hated with less intensity than I did the rest of them, but... I don't hate him at all! He is rather ill-mannered and would do well to accept his positive qualities, but I don't hate him.

To think that this would mean that he and I were friends...

[alethiological]

... You don't have many friends, huh.

[He's already mentally organizing a checklist to give her on "how to tell if this human is your friend".]

[hairpine]

I have... four humanoid friends, including Mr Sei!

[alethiological]

[Yep, she needs a checklist.]

You should aim for an even five.

[hairpine]

... Five is an odd number!

[alethiological]

But if you're an odd person, that means odds are your evens.

[hairpine]

That does not make any sense.

But I see! If I may include Miss Elizabeth, then I suppose that does raise my count to five...

[alethiological]

Oh? I thought it made as much sense as your inability to recognize friends.

[That's deadpanned so casually, it'll take a second or two to realize it was a joke.] Assume she is until she calls you a monster.

[hairpine]

-- I'm not a monster!

[alethiological]

I never said you were. I only said if someone says that, they're probably not in the 'friend' category.

[hairpine]

But you do consider me to be a monster! You have yet to vocalise this fact, but that is the case, isn't it?

[alethiological]

Correct.

[...Way too blunt there.] But don't take it personally. I feel this way towards anyone with such toxin. You're a nice kid.

[hairpine]

It is not a toxin, Sir! Toxins are poisons produced through biological means.

[alethiological]

It also functions as an adjective to describe someone who's been poisoned. Such a thing is not restricted to biological effects.

[hairpine]

I have -- had this condition since my birth. I wasn't poisoned over the course of eighteen years, Mr Wright, I have always existed in this manner. Even its adjectival use is incorrect as applies to me!

[alethiological]

[Nothing's changed really, except when his eyes narrow they almost seem a different color. Brighter. And no longer glaring at her, but something deeper, and it's soul-piercing.

Probably because it's literally glaring at her soul.] I understand that's what you believe, so I won't shoot it down. But do me the favor to not act like it's a good thing when I'm nearby.

[hairpine]

[......... oops. A little like a chastised eight year old;]

Yes.