I feel like Saint Nicholas is pulling my leg

[cloistre]

[So. THE DAY HAS FINALLY ARRIVED, LONDON. It is Christmas. A light snow falls upon the city, and even the Old Ones seem quiet and non-existent against the hustle and bustle of people giving gifts or doing emergency shopping despite the chances that literally nothing is actually open right now.

But that's probably just wishful thinking. You could pretend, if you tried hard enough.

What are you doing?]

Comments

[screwreality]

[Are you threatening him, Lemina? Bandaged or not, he has that grin of someone about to ruin your life.]

「ONLY THE FIRST TIME YOU KILL ME IS FREE OF CHARGE, MISS. ARE YOU GOING TO EXTORT ME FOR POCKET CHANGE?」

[fliesbynight]

You think I would lower myself to killing someone with snowballs? Fat chance! My ice magic would do the trick and not look like some beginner magician's mistake!

[She tosses the snowball again.] Anyway, I don't have a reason to kill you. I just wanted to wish you the worst holiday I could.

[screwreality]

「OH NO! YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART AGAIN! I CAN'T TAKE IT! THE RUSH OF ENDORPHINS AND ROMANCE TROPES MEAN I'M SWOONING!」

[He then does a perfect textbook swoon into her arms. Hand over one forehead, all dead weight which has no effect because he's a scrawny shit, dramatic sigh, etc.

Such a good actor.

His limp hand immediately hands an envelope to her after a three heartbeats.] 「MERRY CHRISTMAS, LEMINA-CHAN!」

[fliesbynight]

Huh?

[Lemina looks actually shocked that anyone thought of her for Christmas, especially the weird gross kid. She's nice enough to support him while opening it-

And immediately she drops him like a hot mess. Money.]

I-Is this real?! [She checks it over quick. Yeah it's real she'd know fakes anywhere. SHE CAN STAY SOMEWHERE DECENT TONIGHT.

OR JUST SAVE IT spending money is evil.

But maybe somewhere semi-decent...]

[screwreality]

[It's good anyone nearby is either inside at Christmas or ignore him, because that entire scene would ruin him.

Instead he raises an arm from his place in the snowdrift to point at her offensively.]

「FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS! IT'LL WORK IN YOUR FAVOR IN THE LONG RUN!」

[Like making people think she's rich and thinking the exorbitant entrance fees are because it's prestigious as fuck and then she'll get rich losers joining her shit. She may be a master cheapass, but he's a master con artist.

At least he doesn't care about being dropped.]