DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER CAN- Okay not that creepy but still

[intellectualrapist]

[Possibly you may remember a time, way back before Will was too insane - still crazy but not quite too bad - when Erika enjoyed creeping on the window of his bedroom and popping in and shaking him or clawing him or surprise falling on him from the ceiling to wake him for late night talks? Those bygone days.

Well Erika is reviving the tradition by rising near his head like Jaws and very slowly prodding him in the face.] Wiiiiiiiillard I'm here!

Comments

[intellectualrapist]

No one cares what you think anyway, Willard! [Erika climbs back on top of him, flopping over like an irritated cat who demands petting for no reason.

Because she is.]

[alethiological]

No one cares? Does that include your girlfriend?

[But he still concedes to her demands and gives pets. Yes, yes, your highness.]

[intellectualrapist]

[Eeeeeeeee pets.]

He just thinks you're a jerk. Well, he's right, of course.

[alethiological]

Yeah, he's right.

[Won't even deny it because. Yeah. It's true.] I'd still tell him. His reaction would be priceless. He still jealous?

[More important than trolling Erika: Trolling Erika's Girlfriend. And she still gets pets for it. Pets, awesome mystery, and trolling. Her life is currently amazing.]

[intellectualrapist]

[Her life is awesome. And later she gets to rape convince Will into getting a phone. Excellent. For now she just stays curled up and content.]

Hmm, I'm a bad judge at these things, you know. [Good enough mood to lightly joke about it but only briefly. Still, positives!] But I don't think he likes it when I talk about you a lot, soooo...

[She giggles.] I don't say anything strange about you, so I don't really understand. Even if you're a jerk, you've been reliable for me.

[Well, excluding the nearly beating her to death thing but hey Zelos already hated Will so it's not like that changed his opinion or something.]

[alethiological]

[Please don't try to rape convince him or his wife. Just. No. And that 'reliable' comment earns a short wince. Because he immediately remembers that 'excluding' part. Excluding that, yes, but that's still a pretty large gash against it.]

Really. Then it's just a conflict of perspective. ...Still. [Read as: he still hasn't realized that he's being even more mindset unaccepting than they are? Oh, but how dare anyone call out the great Zelos Wilder for being a piece of shit.

Ugh, he's getting annoyed just thinking about it.] Let him think whatever.

[intellectualrapist]

[She can't help laughing before flicking him lightly in the forehead. At least it isn't mean-spirited; just a little sister teasing her brother.]

You two really annoy each other just by existing. It's weird. You're also both irritable people by nature but usually quite relaxed. Oh well. I hear strife with in-laws is part of the wonderful journey of life.

[alethiological]

[She gets A Look for her flicking, but he knows she means well. He even lets it pass in a moment of kindness. Or not-kindness, because he shanks her in an entirely different area.]

Oh. I get it. Next time I'll take after you and make him break down in tears.

[intellectualrapist]

[Not even missing a beat, she smiles at him.]

That's fine. I've let her relax for a while now, right? It isn't much fun to pick at a wound until it's healed. Then you can tear it wider.

[alethiological]

They both have sore spots about their mothers, right? Maybe they get along so well because they both were almost killed by them.

[Oh yeah. Went there. Now Erika knows how it feels whenever she makes stabs about Lion in front of him.]

[intellectualrapist]

[She pauses. Then she pokes his cheek.]

You know they'd both kill you for that one.

[alethiological]

Yeah. ...I guess I got worse after that last relapse.

[Shrug. He'd care more, but he still lacks a lot of it. Whatever, he's not mindlessly killing people. He'll settle for just being a huge asshole.]

[intellectualrapist]

[Erika shrugs, too. The not killing and torturing part is most important anyway.]

Well, you're only saying it to me. If you said it to them, it would be another story.

[The kind involving death.]

[alethiological]

[The killing and torturing part is sort of the most important. Yes. Quickly swatting away that strike-out.]

I might be reckless, but I'm only suicidal under specific circumstances.

[Such as telling off Bernkastel. ...That's about it.]

[intellectualrapist]

[She raises an eyebrow.] Are you sure? If your emotions are dulled, it could end up being the same thing.