gocirclegogo | the joys of cat ownership

[And so like the beautiful butterfly she is, she gracefully floats down into the chair.

Or most likely, it's just Erika tumbling out of the vent after wedging it open and managing to land perfectly in the chair through badass dumb luck. She sits for a moment like a cat who is surprised to have landed in such a way. SHE TOTALLY DID IT ON PURPOSE THOUGH.

But then she brightens and gives a thumbs up.]

Very good!

[That moment she's spent sitting there like she's confused with reality is spent matching the blank stare. Most cats, upon realizing they've landed normally, rebound into pride a beat later. That is what Erika has done.

It also means her thumbs up gets returned, with none of the brightness or the horrible pronounciation.] 'Good'.

[Erika can have a dash of extra pride knowing she got him in a good(?) mood, considering he's playing along at all.]

[Good enough mood! She can deal with even the correction - by ignoring it but hey that's progress for her. She even looks the part of the prideful cat who earned some praise(?).] Hello, Willard. I'm here to make your day wonderful.

Thus my day is ruined. What a loss. I will never recover.

[Deadpanned and turning back to his reports, but the fact it's left entirely monotone with a dismissive wave is his form of still messing with her.]

[She hops up from the chair and sits instead on a corner of his desk. At least she's mindful of the papers and his stuff. Not looking to start a fight with mister neurotic there.]

How cruel. I think I might cry. Now I'm not sure if I should tell you my really wonderful idea. [And because she knows he's not baited, she continues.] It would definitely make you laugh.

If you cry on my papers, I'm shoving you off.

[Hard to tell rather he's kidding on that one or not. Be he clean through ignores her until that last part. Not even breaking stride in his writing or looking up, but she knows a successful baiting when he's out of it enough to miss her move.

Which means succumbing to the fatal mistake of answering her.] What is it?

[Her smile widens. He can practically hear the mauled 'Good!' that she doesn't say. Which is not unsaid to spare his ears but rather because she wants to get right to her super special awesome idea.]

I happened to overhear you would make someone happy if you cut hours even for a day, am I right? [Continuing because duh she's right she just said she was stalking him.] It also happens that you have confessional duties. Dagon doesn't exactly do 'confessions' in the usual sense but as long as someone who really connects to humanity and understands can fill in, then we could spare you an afternoon.

[She holds up a finger.] Basically, you'd be taking a break to, ah, help me watch this trainee, right? And then you can go home early and get to see that stupid smile of hers whenever she sees you out of nowhere. Wow, I'm such a sap now! Doing all of this for your love life, it's sickening!

[Okay no it has nothing to do with that but being dramatic is fun. She's more curious if Will can catch why she had to word it so stupidly in the first place and the meaning.]

[There's not even a break in writing when she openly mentions stalking him. At least it's mindless enough to process her words in real time. Confessional duties? And for Dagon? Hell no. Not enough no in the universe. But her wording was very... particular. 'Connecting to humanity' is far too prose for her. Then taking breaks - ridiculous - to watch a-

The moment she says trainee is when his pen stops. And by the end of her sentence he's sitting with his head rested in one hand, spinning his pen across his other hand. The smile feels more like fangs.] Love life my ass. What happened to the guy who usually does it?

[No loose ends, right?]

[She grins back. Though she hasn't fangs like some, one canine does look particularly sharp. Erika waves a hand to dismiss the concern.] Oh, he's been reassigned. It was very sudden. There definitely won't be time to go through the normal process to hire someone new. But of course, I'm a reliable and trustworthy person to handle the task personally.

[He was doing perfectly well until the word Reliable comes out. And she earns the same 'pfft' noise she got from Dlanor way back when. Laughing lifeless a few times as his hand goes over his eyes.

This can only end horribly. This can only end horribly and it will be amazing.] And your idea is to let that... thing. Out on them.

[She still manages to be innocent sounding. Really, Willard, are you suggesting she'd do something terrible to the church she's loyal to? Wow rude.] Non non. I only want to give them the best possible candidate. I'm certain you agree no one is better suited, right?

[Don't do it, bad idea, unleashing that kind of hellspawn in a church is bad karma, openly marching into a rival faction is suicide, it's not like you're missing that much, just tell her not to do it.]

...Agreed. And he'll be happy to assist. [...Wait a minute. Amusement falling.] You've already asked...?

[Or did you come here to schedule a time to make him do the actual work again?]

[She holds up a hand. HEART READER!!

Or she put a lot of thought into this because she wanted to surprise Will with a surprise that would actually be happy making and not a dead rotting rat on his desk. You decide.]

I will ask. But it wouldn't be as much fun overseeing his training alone. I wanted to make sure you were available first. Though... I really doubt he'll say 'no.'

[He thinks That Thing being involved makes it a dead rotting rat anyway, but this one comes in a red ribbon. And Febreeze'd to all hell.

She still gets the same flat stare for a bit before sighing. Taking the time to turn away and pull one of those weekly schedule books from a drawer, flipping through pages until landing on the beginning of next week. All the lines are filled, but-]

When did you want to do the field training?

[With bright eyes, she contains her joy and does not bounce on the desk. He can be grateful.] How about this upcoming Monday? That's enough notice, isn't it?

[It's horrible and mondays are his catch-up days and he already has to cut his hours earlier to beat Lion in stupid rich-girl sports and he has a meeting with a bishop that day anyway an] Sure.

[And red x'ing the day written at the top. More stress to make her happy, what else is new. At least there's payment in it this time.]

[She leans over the desk - still mindful of his stupid work - and nuzzles his cheek once.] What a wonderful priest I've chosen to help me.

[It gets her an annoyed grunt, knowing she's being careful and clingy for one reason. But she isn't messing his paperwork, so fine. Headpets for Erika. Though it's more like the ruffle one gives to make their cats yowl.]

Our Lord doesn't appreciate brats who fish for compliments.

[It doesn't quite earn a yowl but a whiny sound that is the Erika version of one.] But you like it, right? It sounds like fun, doesn't it?

[She's still being a needy bitch and God doesn't approve of needy bitches, but he sighs and pets her normally.

Yes, Erika. You did well.]

[This time her sound is brief but gentle and happy, a special little Erika purr. That was all she needed. See? Excellent system where headpats = approval = self-worth.] I'm pleased that you like my gift. Oh, do you need any assistance? Well, of course I'm bored, but I thought at least if you need filing, I did become quite good at it.

[She's not sure if that came out as suspicious or casual or friendly. She was aiming for the latter?]

[She would've gotten away with it if she just left out the 'I'm bored' part. It's obvious enough it even makes him stop to glance at her. She's not bored. Her actions when she's bored tend to cause worse things like, oh, say driving her friends insane. Saying she's bored means she's trying to find an excuse for caring about someone and wanting to help.

Positive side to him losing the ability to care, he doesn't call her out on it.] The piles on the third shelf need to be reorganized. I was going to do it myself after these reports, but if you're bored, then feel free.

Well, since you asked nicely. [Maybe she's just programmed to tsun. Don't judge.

She jumps off the desk and goes over to the shelf, taking note of everything and beginning to organize it. If anything, it's a good chance for Will to see that she is actually efficient at it. Perfect memory and having to do it while he was off helps a lot. It also means she can do it while talking.]

Anything else later? You're going to be behind because of that. Since I dragged you in, it's at least considerate to help with the backlog.

[Alright. He's been her cat owner for almost a year now. What Erika would normally do is except that one job, blather on incesantly, and - if she still wanted to talk - ask for another job. Her goal is to have someone to talk to, and helps while doing it.

For her to actively request more things before anything else means she wasn't here to speak. To deliver her idea? Maybe, but she's already finished that. Still being here, but not speaking, acting out of character, and trying to be needlessly helpful?

She can hear the sound of him calling bullshit by the long hesitation of no writing and then slowly setting his pen now. The voice is oddly measured.] That's all. You can leave once you finish.

[Erika pauses. She can't even doubt that she heard him right thanks to her enhanced hearing. So, he definitely said that in a strange tone that she can't understand. But she keeps sorting since she said she would do that.

Possibly, too, because she's nervous of looking at him right now. She doesn't know what expression he might be wearing and she wants to sound like her usual flippant self.]

That's a little cold, Willard. I take some pride in how well I managed your responsibilities. I'm not going to mess it up.

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