Introductory Temporal Transportology

[bedheaded]

[A man is stuck in the streets of London. He has an amazing I-don't-care-about-my-hair-because-that's-how-cool-I-am hairstyle, $300 dollar Italian jeans, and I dare you to ask the thread count on that shirt, the first few buttons of which have been carelessly left unbuttoned. That's right. The hipsters have arrived. Also, he is holding a blackberry.]

[Clothing aside, he is not acting all that hip. He speaks with very broad hand gestures and a moderately manic expression.]

What the hell is this? When did we go Sherlock Holmes? Abed, are you doing a 'themed episode' [he doesn't need physical air quotes: he can do it with his voice] again? Because if you are, I need to know how the hell you pulled this off so it never happens again! [He stares at his Blackberry in incredulity, and here comes the last straw.] And why isn't my phone getting any signal?

[A choked scream of frustration, and he kicks a nearby crate.] This doesn't make any sense!

[Someone stop him before he finds an axe.]

Comments

[theworst]

I beg your unbelievable pardon, you pompous jag?

[bedheaded]

You're attracted to me! You're still upset and jealous because I kissed her instead of choosing you. It's just like with Vaughn! You don't care about the age difference. You just care because you don't like it when someone who used to want to sleep with you doesn't anymore. You don't know how to share, and that's what this is about.

[theworst]

Okay, I need a cigarette, because right now the thought of being in a hot tub three way with Pierce is infinitely more attractive than anything involving you or your monster ego. I have never been less attracted to anyone in my entire life.

[bedheaded]

You mean you don't have a rebuttal, so I win. Hah. [He opens the door to their apartment.] You have fun with the bed, Britta. Tell me if you need me to clear out for a night, because unlike some people, I'm perfectly cool with people I've slept with seeing other people after it's over.

[theworst]

[she stares and she actually can't think of a rebuttal] Screw you, Winger!

[and she storms past him into the bedroom and slams the door shut behind her before flopping down on her bed]