"this is a sham," cries free! cast

[pinupbody]

[As usual, in the wake of the old turf war-church explosion, life continues. The relic that caused the problem is likely lost forever or otherwise nowhere to be found, but on the bright side, it's definitely cold enough this week to cool its molten remains, and it might still have some juice left. The interesting thing about modern London and modern Londoners is that they produce so much heat, snow usually doesn't accumulate. And then you have situations like the Thames freezing in the 60s, or the snow earlier this year. Three inches is enough to shut down the trains.

Today is a day not unlike any of those. There's a light blanket descending upon the city today. In its frozen form, it feels a lot less inherently disgusting than the water in the Thames, and smells a lot less -- not at all, even. Almost like it's perfectly normal water, but we wouldn't recommend trying to catch it in your mouth. Or ears. Or eyes. It's maybe better if you try not to absorb too much of it in general. Don't say we didn't warn you.

After all, freezing water removes some impurities. Not all. And there's no such thing as a rain of boiling water, maybe fortunately. If you wouldn't drink water out of the river or a local lake, why would you eat the snow?

Anyway. Trains can't run in weather like this. The city is in the panic you'd expect, but that doesn't mean you have to be -- if you've got somewhere to go, I'd recommend hoofing it immediately. If you were on the run from some religion bent on sacrificing you to resurrect their god, or a scientist trying to fill you with brain parasites? Walk faster.

But, well. That's up to you. Some local cults are out and about today offering safety from the weather and faster transportation (but it's probably in your best interests not to ask the details if you're not a member), for various prices. What do you do?]

Comments

[affectate]

[And their friendships are looking a touch demolished after Liamthread. Maybe not this one, but... oh boy. Have fun explaining that one to her later, kid.]

『 Thank you very much! Perhaps if you were to eat a human, your weight would return to its previous state. You are dreadfully underfed. Did you believe that I would not notice? I would like you to resume eating breakfast with me as well! 』

[screwreality]

[He can explain it over the breakfast he doesn't want to have, judging by the groan he gives when he buries his face in the snow. Why must she do this he hates the lectures its not the he starves himself it just kind of happens he blames his metabolism and his bad memory and the fact food is expensive and also optional when you can just revive whenever you feel like it okay its not his fault he's not sorry et cetera

The answer is muffled by dubious snow, but he doesn't even care anymore.]

『 NOOOOO. I DON'T WANT TO. DOESN'T CAROL STILL HATE ME? STOP TRYING TO GIVE YOUR LOVING FATHER UNDUE STRESS. 』

[affectate]

『 Papa never hated you, Kumagawa! He is away in France for Christmas, besides, and shall not arrive home until New Year's. Your fear of him is, in its entirety, unfounded; what reason do you have to deny me? 』

[Somewhere in a hotel room in Paris, he just broke his pipe in half. As if he hadn't already.]

[screwreality]

『 I'M NOT AFRAID OF HIM! 』

[Yes he is.]

『 SHUT UP! WHO SAID YOU GUYS COULD TALK? 』

[Wow, rude.]

『 AND FOR THE RECORD, HE TOOOTALLY HATES ME. HE'S PROBABLY HAVING AN ANEURYSM RIGHT NOW JUST FOR YOU TRYING TO INVITE ME OVER. HOW HEARTLESS OF YOU! 』

[affectate]

『 I scarcely understood why. He is not a frightening person. Moreover, my voice would not travel to Paris, and any curses placed for the sake of surveillance are to be immediately dispelled. 』

[She gives a little nod to Them, to the narration, and shifts to stop hugging him, sitting up. Hope the heels don't catch him in the back.]

『 I'm not heartless at all! 』

[screwreality]

[Were he standing, this would be the exact moment where he hunches into himself and gets all pouty over people knowing he's a wimp. Seeing as there's still a woman who weighs more than he does sitting on his spine, he only manages the pout.]

『 DO I HAVE TO? 』

[Whiiiine. And ow, watch the heels, she gets a slight wince for that.]

[affectate]

[At least it's like. Just barely, and most of that deciding weight is probably clothes. But he's such a wimp even that's too much (understandably, for once). She notices him wince though; but she can't take off her shoes and sitting in something more like seiza would hurt her instead, so she just puts her legs on either side of his body instead.]

『 Yes, you do! ... Ah - 』

[The skirt is too long to see anything interesting so there's nothing to note, and she realizes after a moment that this'll be uncomfortable after a while too, so she swaps to sitting at the base of his spine, with both legs dangling off to the left.]

『 How is this, Kumagawa? 』

[screwreality]

[There's no more wincing past the initial one. In fact, the only reaction at all is the usual noise of 'bluhhhhhhh' at her Yes. The one where he still doesn't want to, but has given up to Elaine's Frequent Whims and will turn up at her house tomorrow morning anyway.

He still holds the right to mope face-down in the snow drift though. So there, you terrorist. --Oh wait, the muffled extended complaint halts for a moment.]

『 WHATEVER'S COMFORTABLE FOR YOU, ELAINE! 』

[Statement given, the bluhhhhhhh resumes.]

[affectate]

[While he's moping, his ears should be uncovered enough to hear her huff a little indignantly.]

『 Is it comfortable for you? My own comfort, comparatively, is scarcely important! You have been absent for some time; it is only polite that you be both coddled and punished, with equal intensity! In welcoming you back to this place, my goal is to treat you with unforgiving love and unrelenting hatred. That is what I believe. 』

[Coddled, she says. Unforgiving love, she says. While sitting on his back.]

『 If it is uncomfortable for you, Kumagawa, then I shall simply return to my previous position beside you. 』

[screwreality]

『 "UNRELENTING HATRED", SHE SAYS THROUGH THE BORROWED QUOTATION MARKS OF A LOVED ONE. 』

[But it's stated completely absently, like white noise or a computer screensaver. Whatever real thoughts would be placed in this bracket, it's not that. Either way, there's just enough of a shift where one of his shoulders pops back into place with a crack.

Ahhhh, much better. The ceasing of the moping should be enough of a "yes you're fine" for an answer.]

[affectate]

『 It is true, yes! I love you. The hatred that I shall bestow upon you shall be equal to that love. 』

[There's a pause here. She swings her feet as much as she can from what's basically ground level, listening to the snow crunching under her heel. Then, as if on cue:]

『 What will you say to Liam? 』

[screwreality]

『 HOW ROMANTIC! IF I WERE STILL STANDING, I WOULD HAVE FALLEN OVER IN A SWOON AT SUCH OPEN PROFESSIONS OF LOVE! 』

[Then she pops a question he really doesn't want to deal with, but he has to. So she gets a faint 'mm' and silence. Just long enough of a period where she can think he won't answer, until he shifts his head enough to speak into Not The Snow.]

『 EHHH, I'LL PROBABLY PICK ON HIM A BIT THEN APOLOGIZE. HE'LL BE MAD NO MATTER WHAT, SO MAYBE ACTING LIKE NOTHING CHANGED WILL CALM HIM DOWN A BIT. 』

[A beat, then she gets glanced at.]

『 A QUESTION FOR A QUESTION. DID AJIMU EVER CONTACT YOU? 』

[affectate]

『 Please call her by her nickname, Anshin'in-san. 』

[Even she doesn't laugh at that joke, it's in such poor taste. Well. Not that she would've even if it wasn't. She doesn't laugh. But he's one of the few people whose feelings are vaguely worth respecting so she doesn't meet his eyes.]

『 I haven't spoken to Her since your disappearance. I don't particularly care to, if I may speak honestly. 』

[Her tier of honesty coming from those brackets, though?]

『 It isn't strange. 』

[screwreality]

[She remembers how he used to be. How Ajimu varied from adoration to apathy on a random scale, and Anshin'in always earned fury. This time, her joke actually does get a short huff of an exhale. A laugh, were she less serious. That just means that anger will come up next, it always does, it's like a fact of life.

It doesn't.]

『 OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO. SHE'S DEAD. 』 [Wait, what-] 『 I ASKED BECAUSE I TOLD HER TO PASS A MESSAGE ON. UNFORTUNATELY, SHE'S A BITCH SO SHE PROBABLY SAID SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. THIS IS ME APOLOGIZING FOR WHATEVER WORDS SHE PUT IN MY MOUTH. 』

[Kanyeshrug. Totally at ease, and it's totally genuine maybe.]

『 STOP MAKING THAT FACE. I WOULDN'T HOLD YOUR FEELINGS AGAINST YOU, ELAINE. 』

[affectate]

『 She said that you chose her over us. 』

[Not to her, since it's pretty obvious Elaine isn't dead or traumatized or a bruised and beaten pulp whatever, but it didn't really help her feelings on the matter.]

『 I never did like her. I'm sorry. What did you want her to say? 』

[screwreality]

『 DON'T APOLOGIZE! WHY SHOULD YOU LIKE HER? SHE'S A LYING BITCH. 』

[Which easily implies that was the wrong message to give by leaps and bounds, along with the fact he's none too fond of either of her names anymore, though the latter is more questionable.

The question goes unanswered.] 『 EHH, HOPEFULLY LIAM DOESN'T OVERREACT. 』

[affectate]

[Whether he's looking or not, her expression darkens into a frown. She noticed that dodge, not that he made it very hard to notice. Not the best choice when she's sitting on him, but Kumagawa was never one for decent life choices.

Even if he isn't looking, the brackets are dropped so the change in her tone is obvious.]

What did you want her to tell us?

[screwreality]

[Oh god, he doesn't want to talk about it, can they do this tomorrow, he's sorry, he promises not to run away, please don't hate him, and she can hear the exact moment he locks up and it's right when she dropped the brackets. He wanted to apologize but oh look at the time he lied he doesn't want to anymore he's going to escape but shit Elaine's sitting on him oh god he doesn't want to talk about it

Words. Words, he needs words, but how do you properly Words something that was over a year of nightmares ago, itself behind of month of being Their plaything, itself behind the worries about whether you're alive or not that only London brings, and... there aren't any. So now what? Only one option.

Be stupid and make mistakes.that everyone will hate you for and hold against you forever.]

『 I JUST WANTED TO SAVE THEM. 』

[affectate]

Ah --

I thought so.

[No she didn't. She'd honestly thought it was a legitimate, straight-up, 100% bona-fide betrayal up until this point. But she's definitely relieved to find out otherwise.]

Well, that is quite all right. I have only two friends, so it is... difficult for me to understand, somewhat, but I imagine that you must have your obligations in your home. Why didn't you tell me that you were leaving?

[screwreality]

[Were he actually capable of reading thoughts, that would actually be relieving. Being hated is something he can deal with easier than being understood. But she's cut off with a bright whistle.]

『 HELLO, MICHI-CHAN! THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME I'LL EVER SEE YOU SINCE I'M GOING TO DIE IN AN AGONIZING AND MOST LIKELY PERMANENT FASHION FOR THAT GIRL YOU HATE AND A BUNCH OF PEOPLE NO ONE CARES ABOUT AND NOTHING YOU CAN SAY WILL CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE DESPITE HOW MUCH VALUE I PLACE IN OUR FRIENDSHIP! SO DON'T HOLD IT AGAINST ME, OKAY? BY THE WAY YOU'RE NOT INVITED. 』

『 YOU KNOW, JUST WITH THE RIGHT QUOTES. 』

[Yeah, that would have gone over well.]

[affectate]

...

I see. Well, nevermind me. Yes, that certainly would have gone poorly...! As a result of the more stubborn aspects of my personality, I would have argued rather vehemently that I be taken along, perhaps rupturing our relationship worse than this... even if you were to agree, as your valued friend, you would rather I not face such dangerous situations.

Oh my! Kumagawa, you truly are very kind!

[screwreality]

[Wait.

Wait.

He actually made a right call in terms of interpersonal relationships?

She's still mad but it's not as bad it could have been???

Does that count as a pass on succeeding at friends?????

????????????







He's somewhere between internally sparkling and having a breakdown, he gained a level of being a person this a nightmare, what an idiot.] 『 I'M NOT KIND! I'M STILL COMFORTABLY A SECONDARY ANTAGONIST, -THANK YOU-. 』

[affectate]

Your kindness is extended to only a select few, and as a result does not relieve you of your status as an antagonist -- so long as you refrain from treating many others in the same manner! Other humans -- in this place, at least -- have no time or kindness of their own to extend towards you. They are unnecessary.

[Don't bother with other people because we're the only friends you need, in other words. Oops. She pats his head.]

[screwreality]

『 EW! WHAT TINY BITS OF KINDNESS I HAVE WOULDN'T EVER BE FOR THOSE PEOPLE. 』

[Who cares if they're the only friends he needs? They're the only friends he wants. The rest of London is still garbage populated by garbage and the only difference now is they're not even worth killing. Just. Garbage. Ew.

And why head pats, gdit Elaine, she gets the pouting glare of 'stop patronizing me'.]

[affectate]

That's wonderful! It makes me very happy to hear you say that, Kumagawa!

[And it does. Genuinely. At least a bit. She flashes him the most charming, totally fake but totally ladylike ten-suitors-in-two-months-grabbing smile she can manage and pats his head again.

And holds it down in the snow for a couple of seconds.]

Are you ready to speak to Liam now?