gocirclegogo | "this is a sham," cries free! cast

"this is a sham," cries free! cast

[As usual, in the wake of the old turf war-church explosion, life continues. The relic that caused the problem is likely lost forever or otherwise nowhere to be found, but on the bright side, it's definitely cold enough this week to cool its molten remains, and it might still have some juice left. The interesting thing about modern London and modern Londoners is that they produce so much heat, snow usually doesn't accumulate. And then you have situations like the Thames freezing in the 60s, or the snow earlier this year. Three inches is enough to shut down the trains.

Today is a day not unlike any of those. There's a light blanket descending upon the city today. In its frozen form, it feels a lot less inherently disgusting than the water in the Thames, and smells a lot less -- not at all, even. Almost like it's perfectly normal water, but we wouldn't recommend trying to catch it in your mouth. Or ears. Or eyes. It's maybe better if you try not to absorb too much of it in general. Don't say we didn't warn you.

After all, freezing water removes some impurities. Not all. And there's no such thing as a rain of boiling water, maybe fortunately. If you wouldn't drink water out of the river or a local lake, why would you eat the snow?

Anyway. Trains can't run in weather like this. The city is in the panic you'd expect, but that doesn't mean you have to be -- if you've got somewhere to go, I'd recommend hoofing it immediately. If you were on the run from some religion bent on sacrificing you to resurrect their god, or a scientist trying to fill you with brain parasites? Walk faster.

But, well. That's up to you. Some local cults are out and about today offering safety from the weather and faster transportation (but it's probably in your best interests not to ask the details if you're not a member), for various prices. What do you do?]

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[Oh Liam, such a good helper! Trying to hand out umbrellas to people freezing to death in the snow as if that'd help them! Well, maybe it does? Who cares anyway. But there's no kind of unnerving auras or sudden nightmares assaulting reality or anything terrible at all.

Except at one random point he turns around and it's an old face. Somewhat older with a cracked smile, crossed arms, and no presence at all.]

『 I THOUGHT YOU COULD SENSE ME THROUGH THAT MARK OF YOURS. 』

I can't sense ghosts.

[He doesn't rise to the bait, not exactly. He's calmer than Elaine and more willing to be angry.

Don't frame it as a betrayal when you left.

Don't frame it as if you were here for anyone but her.

Liam's human form melts away. Kumagawa's never seen him this way, he realizes, tall and and inhuman and Their voices take a step back, at least the Outer Gods, to chirp in greeting.]

Y̨̹̗͕̼̦̠̋o̸̯̥̫̜̮ͣu̜̪͓͍̹̘͊̆͐ͩͭ̕ ̩̳̯̺ͪͩͬ͆͗͒̚ͅc̐ͮ̾͏̪̹̻o̘̦̮͚̳̖͍ͯ͋̄̒̊͠ű̧͓̯̼̎̅̉͂l̞̫ͮ͋ͫ̋̇ͬ̐͠d̵̤̠̞͇̲̯̿ͬͣ͐̈́ ͌ͫͬ̌̐͒̂h͊͏̥̜̤à̑v̨̫̚e̦͕͈̤̘̝̬ͨͮ̃̅ͮ ̢̘̻͙̜̌c͙͒a͖̥͓̘̫͇ͪ̔̿̇̎l̗̫̤͎̙̬̋̿͐͗̐͛͗l̪̘̘͎̗̫̽̽͗̈͌̐́ē͐͒ͧ̍̉͢d̝̫̈̂͆ͤ̏̒ ͎̯̋̃͞m̝͇̹͍̯͔ͦe̬̮̯̺̫ͨ̇̒̈ ͤ͗ͭ̓̊҉̯͖̙̱w͎̮̜̜͉h͇͓̽̈́͑e͔͔̗͎͕̩ͣ̏̕n̸̮̽͑̐ ̫̳̒͒̑̆̚ý̨̳̀̌̒̽̊ͥo̪̼̰̩̤̲̜̅͢ũ ̻̫̙̓̅͛w̶͔̆͋̃ͫͦ̒a̺̘̖͕͕̫͙̚n̯̈ͭ͊ͥ̾ẗ́͘ẽ̺͓͙̝̼̮̦̎͂̆͌ͮḏ̔ͦͯͥ̓ͭ ̡̻̫̮͒͛̍t̛̺̱̗͉̮̳̺̅ͨớ̪̪̙̼̤̟͊ͨͬͥ͗̂.̠͉̺̜̝̻̉ͩ̋͑̓

[Oh look, it's angry. How cute. Not threatened at all! On top of the silence that Liam forces the others into (something so dearingly missed only when it's finally received) it means the anger just gets a contented sigh. None of Their complaints, none of Hers, and the only two left alive to judge him he can't really find himself to care about. (Partially.)

Yes. This he can work with.]

『 OH THAT'S AN EXCELLENT IDEA! IT NEVER EVEN CROSSED MY MIND! LET ME JUST TRAVEL A YEAR BACK IN TIME, GO BACK TO THE UNIVERSE I DITCHED YOU FOR, THEN TELL EVERYONE TO DROP THE WHOLE PLAN WHERE WE WERE DESTROYING ANYTHING -LIKE- YOU SO YOU COULD JUST SHOW UP WHENEVER AND RUIN WHAT'S LEFT OF OUR CAUSALITY. 』

...I won't give you what you want.

[He smiles cheerfully. He can see that wish imprinted across Kumagawa's soul, sees the truth of it, and shrugs.]

I could simply erase that existence. Yours, hers, the rest of mine...You would never have met me. [He traces a finger under kumagawa's jawline.] You could never have met her. If you want me to fuck causality, I'm going farther back a year.

[His smile grows brighter.] I'll go back far enough to smother a god in her crib.

[He doesn't have to question that first part. Simply smiling, completely aware he's being read and having no problems with it. What kind of shame is there in having feelings? The only shame is denying them.

The smile only spreads at the contact, quickly becoming a brightness to match Liam's with a single word.]

『 WRONG. 』

[And if Liam takes a second look at that strange self-contradicting tangle of regrets and wishes, it's not even a bluff.]

『 I'LL CORRECT YOU FIRST. YOU CAN'T EXACTLY SMOTHER SOMETHING THAT WAS NEVER 'BORN'. UNLESS YOU'D SMOTHER MY ENTIRE REALITY, I GUESS. IN WHICH CASE CONGRATULATIONS! YOU CAN DESTROY UNIVERSES NOW! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU I COULD CRY. 』

[He doesn't.]

『 NOW ON YOU BEING WRONG. YOU STILL CAN'T READ ME WELL, CAN YOU? I'D HAVE EXPECTED BETTER FROM YOU AFTER SO LONG. BUT DON'T WORRY, I FORGIVE YOU. I'LL JUST MAKE THE GAME EASIER. GUESS WHETHER IF IT'S A LIE OR NOT! YOU WERE MUCH BETTER THAN ELAINE AT THAT ONE. LET'S START. 』

『 I DIDN'T WANT YOU GOING ANYWHERE NEAR MY REALITY, BUT I NEVER REJECTED YOU. IF YOU ACTUALLY DID TRY TO TRACK ME DOWN - WHICH I DOUBT, FOR THE RECORD! - IT WAS -NOT- ON ACCOUNT OF MY END. 』

Oh, I knew. I knew it was her. But I also know you returned to her. Didn't you want to win? Didn't you want to lose too? It's so much easier when she defines all your actions and decisions.

『 It's so much easier to put all the responsibility on Anshin'in, isn't it, Kumagawa Misogi? You never rejected me, but you never accepted me to begin with. 』

[He knows it's cruel. But making Kumagawa angry is better than this. They can play the same game, and Liam's pitch-perfect mimicry of Kumagawa's minus is made all the more horrible that he doesn't even have enough to be a minus--

He's Void. He's Zero. The horrible infinite nothingness between Plus and Minus. If Anshin'in is all those infinite integers, if Kumagawa and Elaine were all those irrational negatives, then he's the terrible heartbeat between.

Come and kill him, Bookmaker.]

[Liam will know a part of it got the correct effect, because his eyebrows shoot up at the sudden mimicry and blank otherwise. He can also take a moment to think he actually failed to make him angry because he clears his throat and the tone changes.]

「WHAT. DID YOU WANT ME TO SWITCH BACK TO THIS STYLE? NEXT TIME JUST ASK!」

『 BUT I WON'T LISTEN, SO DON'T BOTHER. SORRY! AH, BUT YOU'RE TRYING TO RILE ME UP RIGHT NOW, I SHOULDN'T DIGRESS. 』

[A deep breath exhaled. Liam might remember it took way too much work to make him drop the fancy speaking style, to get so blindingly angry it made him become honest. Now the false eye disappears with the exhale along with any pretense.

And instead of anger, he brushes Liam's hand off in bland dismissal.]

I did accept you. [Okay, and now it's anger, but not the productive kind. More like disgusted.] I'm capable of making decisions independent of Ajimu. And of you and Elaine. If you think I dropped everything to follow that bitch just because she asked me to, then maybe I didn't accept you. Sorry for that.

[Said with an idle wave and already leaving. Look Liam, you won! Isn't it nice? Go and celebrate!]

No. [He closes his eyes, and the smile is a little bit brittle.] You accepted Elaine. I'm just an accessory to that, probably for the both of you. It isn't as if I deserve any better, after all, but I do know that.

[it is simply the conclusion he's come to in a year. That he and his power are merely side-lined accessories to the protagonists. And on a good day he doesn't care! Because what god's ever been a protagonist of a good series, right?

It's not a good day.]

But, enough of that. You've done what I wanted, so--

[Crunch. Liam doesn't waste time. it's pretty simple to rip someone open from the inside, let their nothingness tear it apart into tiny pieces. It doesn't take more than a second.]

[it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts and the aura from a year ago flickers back on, only magnified worse and twisting in new patterns and screaming in untranslatable static. Just as quickly it dies.

Liam's been around his deaths before. How it's like his soul is scooped out elsewhere for a few seconds before it reverts back and everything's unharmed. This time, it remains. There may even be the screeching cheers of abominations dog-piling it to tear whatever pieces They can. The kind of hell that takes more than a minute to get away with yourself intact, if even that can be managed.

He does it in twenty-seven and Liam is throttled against the wall by an old friend that is one part frightened and three parts livid. Congrats Liam, you finally made him mad.]

What is wrong with you?!

[He gets a few seconds to be confused that he'd be that upset over being killed in an obscene fashion and being left to be devoured by Old Ones. Which is oddly out of character, but-]

You're upset because you're self-conscious?!

[.....False alarm.]

I'm upset because I'm superfluous. Slight difference.

[Well, he's nothing if not honest! Liam doesn't seem bothered by the throttling, except that he has to kind of croak out speaking, and he's offering absolutely no resistance.

One for one's only fair, right?]

I must have heard that wrong. You wouldn't have a stupid reason like that. Try again.

[It is fair, but this isn't a game about 'fair' anymore. So Liam's surrender never gets taken up on. Because it's not fair to have your emotions torn out of you with or without your permission. Especially not by someone you hold anger against.

Oh wait. Fair's fair, right?]

Wouldn't I? What's stupid about it? Am I not allowed to be angry the only friends I ever had treat me like a convenient thing?

[He sounds calm. he exudes calm. Even the terrible, warping horrible presence of his nature seems serene.

He's so angry. He's so badly hurt. He'd understood them but they'd never returned the favor. Of course he's fucking angry.]

I knew I wasn't really the same as either of you but really. Even I can only take so much...a thing like me has feelings too.

[The anger falls off again, just enough for Liam to know his shot hit home and to freely assume the remaining anger is one of his various masks. Or not? It's hard to tell when those brackets reappear since he got that talent to make his aura disappear at will. Which it does at the exact moment he lets his face fall blank.]

You were never "convenient" to me. [A split second to get offended by a false kindness, before it actually reveals itself as a worse hell.] If I had a use for you, I wouldn't have left.

[The aura doesn't come back, but there's the distinct feeling in the air that comes whenever he verbally breaks a bystander's spirits. The fun part here is now it's all on Liam.]

What is it? Your reviving skill? Didn't need it. Your ability to grant hopes and dreams? How disgusting. Your friendship? You never bothered getting that close to me. I'm betting that's why you have no problem snapping at me about this and not your real problem. I was never that important to you. In fact, the only uses I ever had for you involved her.

It's that lovely girl, isn't it? Is she treating you like a convenient thing? But she knows you so well! Unless she doesn't know about you at all? Ah, wait, but I care about you even less than she does. So let's see what I know.

[With a different aura, with different quotes, with a different expression, here would be the over-exaggerated position of deep thought, complete with sound effects and sarcastic action brackets. But we're being honest here! So all Liam gets his a tilt of the expression as it turns entirely to disdain.]

A year for me, but who knows how long its been for you. I can only guess how long you've been waiting for Elaine to suddenly discover feelings and then drape herself all over you. You wanted Her. I can sympathize. Except you never seemed to reach the point where you understand that she needs much longer to parse that, if at all.

So you made sacrifice after sacrifice hoping that it would spur her into reciprocating sooner, right? And now after your endless eons, you still have nothing. My personal favorite part is where you can't say any of this to her, because she wouldn't even understand what she did wrong! Go ahead and take it out on me. It's not like that's convenient or anything.

Do you remember why I helped you at first? Most likely. But do you remember our deal? Where I stripped you of all of your contracts to Them through a loophole? Did you ever stop to consider why? I'll give you a hint.

[Leaning in close, just over one ear so the expression is gone. Without even that, the lack of emotion is stifling.]

Stop calling yourself a "thing" when you're a human.

[He's silent for a while, and for a moment it almost seems like that was too much.

And then he lops off Kumagawa's arm. Maybe pinning a dude with a connection to shadows was a bad plan.]

Tell me something I don't know.

[The eyes multiply, growing in the darkness, a choking, oppressive cloud of his presence, crushing in on all sides on the minds of everyone nearby, drowning out their screams in silent, unfeeling nothingness.]

That's right...I was human. More human than you. I took that screw of yours and understood I had nothing and never would. It's not like you can return the favor. All your talk of understanding's the lying of a coward anyway...I wonder if Madam Yi had took that last part if I'd have even bothered.

Sentimentality and chains. All you two ever are is holding me back.

[And then the jaws rise up from the ground, aiming to snap Kumagawa shut inside Ilhatar's void. It is the most awful thing anyone's seen today and probably added six inches to Will's paperwork.]

[Whatever to losing the hand. A split second is all it takes for it to blink back like it was never even missing. And the infuriating part is all through his rant, the insufferable smirk is back on, but with none of the lies and illusions weighing it down. Somehow that makes it that much more insufferable.

Especially when there's the first note of the brightest laugh when he's eaten. He might even still hear it in his personal void. Except it only lasts a few seconds before there's arms around his shoulders, hugging him from behind, and smiling bright as sunshine.]

You say "was". You say Yidhra took your remains. Then why are you still mad?

[Something about the situation is odd. The statement is just that - a curiosity, nothing abusive of it. The contact isn't suffocating, but is almost... what?] Ah, but I shouldn't pick on the amazing Outer God. I'm holding you back after all. So is Elaine. So go devour her too, and become the 'you' you truly long to be. I believe in you.

[Almost genuine. And after that last bit, his presence blinks out of reality again. The big difference is he's back in Ilhatar's void, like in that one instance his ability just didn't stick somehow. Maybe it didn't? But that's fine. It just means Ilhatar can carry around those two holding It back for the rest of Its endless days.]

No.

[It's all he says, before ejecting Kumagawa out into the Thames (more like fifty feet above it oops) and then just as casually, stepping right outside of reality.

The answer should be clear, shouldn't it?

He didn't want to be alone anymore. But to hell with them both. Just as casually, the contract mark weakens, flickers, fades. It's not gone.

But it's weak, only a tenuous grasp to this reality. Liam went too far out--the severance is not intentional, but the farther he goes from this shard, the weaker it grows.

Good job, Kumagawa Misogi.]

[And, from a roof nearby, there's a low whistle. From this giraffe flopped over by the Thames. You woke him up with your fight, kids.]

Wooooow, you're as childish as he is. ...Well, was, I guess.

You should really just kiss and make-up, you know!

[The only thing he really does upon getting out of the Thames is shake himself off a bit, not too much unlike a miffed dog, then staring up at Sei. A small part debates biting his face off. Too soon of an annoyance after too long of a period being honest.

The irritated look is all he gets. Then the "drowned rat" appearance flips back into "even scrawnier loser" and the irritation is gone. There's not even an aura flar - no aura at all, actually.]

『 EHHH, NAH. DEPRESSED OUTER GODS WITH SELF-WORTH ISSUES AREN'T MY TYPE. 』

Too much like you, you mean? The two of you are really similar, it's kind of obnoxious.

...[He pauses, staring off to the sky.] Or more, he was like you were. He's just honest about everything instead of lying about everything.

『 TOO MUCH LIKE I USED TO BE, HMM? ...MAYBE THAT'S WHY I'M DISGUSTED WITH HIM. 』

[Wow, not even a snap back, but civil agreement? Sei's free to be confused while he shrugs, hands back in his coat pockets and walking away. Whatever, it's over now, time to kill someone else and take their house, lalala]

[....Bouncing a key off Kumagawa's head then.]

That's even shittier of you, you know? Although honestly, I'm in no place to judge.

[Really, when he thinks about it, he had more problems with Elaine then Kumagawa. their Minus ideal was one he could not accept, that was that, whatever. Being treated like an object, though, that irritated.]

It's down on the waterfront, by the way. Owners left in a hurry, deed's still inside, easy to fake.

[WAIT WHAT and he immediately looks back once the metal rebounds, hand against the back of his head and looking more like a startled deer than an asshole.

Aaaand then Sei continues, and a shade of the irritation comes back.] 『 I CAN'T EXACTLY BECOME A KIND HUMAN BEING OVERNIGHT, OKAY? 』

[Being fully up-front and honest for any period of time is just nauseating and after that whole exercise in stupidity, he won't be trying for kindness for a while yet. But that's details. Especially when Sei continues and that blank look comes back. Giving a house, what? Did he get in a bet? Sex deal? Murdered the owner? None of these questions are important. The million dollar question iiiis...

Shit, where did that key bounce to???]

Of course not, but that was a pretty bad start, you know? You keep that up you're gonna end up like me.

[It's in your pocket. Fucking Antichrist.]

『 BUT THEN I END UP AS TALL AS YOU! 』

[Hard to tell if trolling or serious, but a deflection nevertheless.]

Too late for a growth spurt for you, nice try.

"this is a sham," cries free! cast

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